Don’t worry mom and dad, I’m not actually going to become a stripper. (But I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought about it.) There are just some times when things get to be too much and we feel like becoming a stripper would be a much easier path (and by easier, I mean just being able to pay for things and not have to worry about it). We’ve all thought about it once or twice, or maybe a few times, but the important thing is we haven’t actually gone through with it. Even if sometimes we have really good reasons as to why we should.
10. Tuition. Before even moving in to my dorm I had already considered dropping out of college to become a stripper simply because I saw the price of tuition. If I were to become a stripper I wouldn’t have to worry about tuition prices, or housing prices, or student debt, or federal loans, etc. You would simply be making money – and lots of it. I would probably be able to pay for tuition by moon-lighting on the weekends.
9. Midterms/Finals. Cramming for midterms and finals is the worst. You basically have to relearn everything you’ve talked about over the semester and try to decipher your notes. If you were a stripper the only thing you’d ever have to study is new moves you want to learn or how to move your body in order to capture more attention and make even more money.
8. Textbook prices. Tuition and housing are already crazy expensive so it’s ridiculous that we have to spend hundreds more on textbooks. You would think that the cost of tuition would cover the textbooks because they’re one of the main parts of taking a class. If you were a stripper you could use the money you’d usually spend on textbooks in order to buy yourself a new Michael Kors watch.
7. Locking your key in your room. Sometimes you’ll notice that it happened right when the door to your room closes and other times you won’t realize it until you get back to your room hours later. Either way, it totally sucks and having to wait for someone to unlock the door is just frustrating. You can call someone to unlock it and it may still take them 30 minutes just to show up. Dropping out of school to become a stripper wouldn’t solve this problem, but it’s probably one of the thoughts that ran through your head when you realized you locked your key in your room.
6. Figuring out what classes you need to take. Figuring out what classes you need to take for your major(s), minor(s) and general ed. distribution is a process that can take hours. You know there are certain classes you want to take, but you also know that there are classes you physically can’t fit into your schedule. You have to spend hours going over your schedule and going over your millions of requirements and by the end of it all you just want to tear your hair out. As a stripper you wouldn’t have to worry about any of that; you could take all the pole dancing classes your heart desires.
