The 20 Stages of Day Drinking

Whether it’s Spring Break or March Madness ,Day Drinking will be a thing until finals come along. Here are the 20 stages you know too well of Day Drinking!

20. Waking Up With A Hunger For Booze

Today your’e craving more than nachos, you want Jello Shots and Beer.

19. Brushing Your Teeth With A Bottle Of Jack

Just like Ke$ha, you always wanted to know if this is possible. Well today is your lucky day!

18. Dressing Yourself

This is pretty easy. You may or may not be wearing the same outfit from yesterday, but that’s your little secret.

17. Skipping Out On Priorities 

Whether it’s going to work, making it to class, or calling your parents, these tasks suddenly seem unnecessary and fall to the bottom of your priority list.

16. FOOD

Jello Shots are nice, but Taco Bell is even nicer. So you hold your head up and make your way to Taco Bell, yeah the walk is brutal but worth it.

15. Dancing Without Music

Who needs music? Today is a partyyy and that’s all that matters!

14. Talking Is Hard

By this time your’e invested in day drinking and motor skills start to disappear.

13. The Questionable Water Bottle

Since you can’t walk around with a bottle of Absolut, your Smart Water bottle becomes a bartender.

12. MORE FOOD

Time for pizaaaaaaa.

11. Recruiting 

Just like your school’s football team, day drinking is a team sport and you need your buddies along side you for maximum satisfaction.

10. Overly Affectionate

You love everyone, everything, and anything…even your asshole boss.

9. Words Are Moving

Reading is hard…

8. A Small Amount Of Regret 

Your’e starting to catch feelings and that’s not cool.

7. YAY FOOD

More Food + More Booze = More Fun

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6. The Sun Is Your Enemy

It’s hot and the sun is beating down on you. Cool Jello Shots can help though! Jello Shots for Everyone!

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5. But Your Sunglasses Are Your Best Friend

You cant see sh*t anyway, might as well grab some sunglasses and stumble along.

4. Bad Social Media Decisions

300 second SnapChat stories and grammatically incorrect tweets.

3. Walking Is Rocket Science

What are motor skills? You might wanna stay away from heavy machinery, including your phone.

2. Unnecessary Honesty

Mom said honesty is the best policy..not your problem. Your’e just being honest!

#4

1. Happy Hour Just Got Happier

Now it is 5 o’clock and booze is now 1/2 off and its somewhat socially acceptable to have an excuse to be drunk. Drink on my friend.

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Demetry WVU ’19

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