As fall semester has left us and we enter a new term, there are those among us that have fallen away from the things that keep us human and bearable. ones at that. The second half of the academic year means that the mistakes of the past can (and will) follow you into the spring. At this point it becomes pivotal to ensure that this semester you live like a normal human being and avoid any sort of faux pas.
THOU SHALT NOT EXCESSIVELY TAN
Because nothing looks worse than having the glow of a radioactive carrot when the sun has been missing for several weeks
THOU SHALT NOT MAKE FROZEN REFERENCES
THE COLD ACTUALLY DOES BOTHER ME SO EXCUSE ME IF I’M NOT IN THE MOOD TO MAKE A SNOWMAN
THOU SHALL NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT CUFFING SEASON
You’re single during the winter, boo hoo. Go find and date one of the thousands of other single students for a day if it’s that bad. Subsequently..
THOU SHALT KEEP VALENTINE’S DAY POSTS TO A MINIMUM
Don’t be the couple that takes their V-day PDA beyond the coffee shop or the library and into Twitter/ Facebook/ Tumblr/ Instagram/ Snapchat/ Pinterest/ Myspace. I’m serious.
THOU SHALT NOT BINGE WATCH MORE THAN 3 HOURS AT A TIME
House of Cards doesn’t need to take over your life. Take a break. Go outside. Maybe build a human out some soft fluffy stuff that falls from the sky.
THOU SHALT GO WORKOUT AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK
Cardio, weight lifting, even running between each class works. Just go sweat for twenty minutes.
THOU SHALT ENJOY 4/20 RESPONSIBLY
To be fair, the word responsibly is distinctly subjective in this case. Take it however you’d like.
THOU SHALT NOT LEAVE YOUR LAUNDRY TO THE LAST MINUTE
Side note: you also shall not keep re-wearing clothes to avoid doing laundry
THOU SHALT NOT GET ARRESTED ON ST. PATRICK’S DAY
But thou can try and get very, very close
THOU SHALT NEVER CALL/TEXT YOUR EX
It doesn’t matter how drunk, horny, or lonely you are, it just isn’t worth it and it saves everyone a lot of trouble.
Copyright © 2014 University Primetime
