According to Boston College’s website, the total cost for an academic year – including room and board – is $60,622. If that price stays constant for four years, (which it won’t,) the total cost for a Boston College education is $242,488. Instead of paying for that, you could buy…
1. 60,774 McDonald’s Big Macs
Crazy, right? At $3.99 per Big Mac, a side of heart attack and stroke are included free on the side.
2. This Texas Home
Head here to inquire about this 3 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom, luxurious piece of architecture. (Some say it’s almost as nice as a Mod.) Remember, it only costs $204,900, so you’ll still have some spending money to invest in cattle, a night for you and your buddies at the local strip club, or whatever else they buy in Texas.
3. Two Subway Restaurant Franchises
At about $116,200 per franchise, it looks like they may even throw in your own personal Jared with the purchase.
4. A Lifetime Subscription to the NY Times for 8 People
This is assuming that you live for 80 more years with a weekly cost of $6.65. Just think about all of the Crossword clues you won’t be able to solve!
5. 18 Smart Cars
It may be dangerous, but think of all of those CoRo babes that you’ll pick up in this $13,270 hotrod.
6. Over 70,000 14-Carat Gold Plated Staples
I bet you never thought a staple could look so sexual.
7. A Private Island
For only $239,000 you can buy Spanish Ship Bay Island off the coast of Nova Scotia, Canada. Supposedly it’s almost as remote as Greycliffe.
8. Two Locks of Elvis Presley’s Hair
In 2002, they sold for $115,000 each…in other words, the cost of Tresch’s textbook
9. Breast Implants from Size B to a Triple K for 2 People
Though $100,000 per pair of implants, you’ll also get an episode on My Strange Addiction, life-threatening back problems, an inability to walk up the Million Dollar Staircase, and the Guinness World Record for World’s Largest Breast! (Inquiries? Contact Sheyla Hershey, pictured above)
10. The Town of Palisade, Nevada
I know, it’s almost as spacious as your double on Newton was. In 2005 the town was purchased for $150,000. So don’t worry, that will leave you with just enough money to bribe ResLife for better housing
11. 27 Semesters at a Public, In-State University
No, you did not misread that. According to the College Board, at an average of $17,786 per year or $71,144 over four years, you cannot only graduate three times at your public, in-state university for the price of one Boston College degree, but you can also get off debt free!
