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20. Health Services at URI is the Nickelback of music- THEY JUST SUCK. They’ve misdiagnosed every person who walks through the door. They’ve probably told you that you’re dying of an incurable disease when you really have a cold. Or that you need your arm cut off when you really just have a rash.
19. Someone you know studied Abroad- And they will NEVER let you forget it. “How do you explain the best 4 months of your life?” YOU DON’T. You stop talking about it. That’s how.
18. You know what Pancho’s is- Famous for it’s “LGW” or “Little Girl Wednesday’s” Pancho O’Malley’s pretty much accepts crayon written on a piece of paper as a form of ID. Though there are only two bars inside and you have to wait forever to get a drink when it’s packed, it’s simply a great time.
17.Dorm life is the worst life- To be blunt, if you don’t live in Hillside, your dorming experience was/is absolutely awful. Forced triples are not ideal, and the dorms are just terrible.
16. Greek life is the best life- Greek Life at URI is equivalent to being a Patriot’s player after they won the Superbowl. Nobody can tell you no, you’re the greatest at everything, and you’re better than everyone else. You take hating on GDI’s to a whole new level.
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15. ‘Darty’ is your favorite word- Short for “day party,” Darty season is the best season that URI has to offer. Popular in the beginning of fall semester and the end of spring semester, if you drive around down the line in Gansett it’s guaranteed that you’ll see bouncy houses, slip n’ slides, or people throwing mailboxes across the street somewhere. It’s like Christmas every weekend.
14. Despite what they made you think at orientation, nobody ACTUALLY goes to sporting events. The fact of the matter is that while URI may have a lot of school spirit, you will likely never, ever go to a single sporting event unless you’re being forced to.
13. The only time you’ll ever set foot in Providence is for the Halloween Bus Trip- Even though there are always events for URI students held at sleazy clubs in Providence, the only people who actually attend those are the poor, unaware little freshman. Bless their souls. They’ll learn their lesson just like the rest of us did.
12. Every girl dresses the same. The truth is, they’re all basic. Owning a pair of Converse and wearing t-shirt dresses with knee high socks is basic. Basic, basic, basic. Don’t forget the long black winter coat, too.
11. Greek Week is a URI week long holiday- Even if you’re a GDI, you know what Greek Week is because there’s no doubt that someone who is in a frat/sorority has told you what Greek Week is. Multiple times.
10.The dining hall workers are watching you at all times. Don’t even try to sneak out food, the food that YOU PAY FOR, from the dining hall. Someone will come after you in seconds telling you that YOU CAN’T DO THAT.
9. Burnetts- One word. So many unfortunate memories. Or no memories, for that matter. It’s nasty, it’s cheap, but it’s a guaranteed great night.
8. Parking is the most annoying thing you have to deal with- URI is notorious for it’s awful parking situation. With tow trucks waiting at every corner for you to make the wrong move, URI might as well give them their own section of campus.
7. You know that EVERYTHING besides actual school is off campus. Good food, parties, the beach, the mall, it’s all about a 20 minute drive away. If you don’t have a car or you don’t know someone who has a car, you’re stranded in the bubble of the URI Kingston campus and there’s no way of getting out.
6. Bonvue is the move- Thursday nights wouldn’t be the same without God’s gift to URI, the Bonvue Inn. Known as the hardest bar to get into, if you’re one of the lucky few who gets to set foot inside, nothing will compare to the greatness that you’ve experienced. Most experience it, few remember it. May the odds be ever in your favor.
5. Nursing majors will make sure to tell you that they’re a nursing major- Because nursing is the HARDEST major at URI and EVERYONE just HAS to know just how HARD it REALLY is. We get it. You’re smart. Move along.
4. URHIGH- Self-explanatory.
3. You’ve taken AVS101- It’s known as the easiest class that URI offers. If you have the answer key, you only need to go to this class on the first day and on the 3 days you have tests. But if you don’t have the answer key and you don’t go to class, you’re basically screwed.
2. You see everyone you know at T’s or Phil’s on Sunday mornings- And you all look like you got run over by the same bus. There’s nothing like some good old breakfast food to cure your hangover.
1. You love to hate on URI- For one reason or another, URI pisses you off. You hate how everything is off campus, and how parking sucks, and how you could teach better than some of the Professors. But that’s okay, because that’s what makes URI, well, URI.
By: Kristen Norton
