5 Things Your Boyfriend Won’t Tell You!

There is a lot of nonverbal communication that occurs in the span of a normal relationship. But for guys, there are things that they can’t say and won’t say out of fear of their s.o. Here are a few things that you won’t hear your boyfriend say, no matter how bad he wants to.

1) Stop Asking Me if *Blank* Makes You Look Fat

Sorry but this is a poor attempt at trapping us into a situation where either you’ll catch us for lying or we’ll be berated for saying you look fat. Unless you actually want to hear the truth and are prepared to handle it, never ask us this question. It just makes things awkward for us.

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2) I Find Your Friends Attractive

So please don’t crucify us if you happen to catch us blatantly gawking at one of them during lunch. It’s very like that telling you this would make you uncomfortable as you see these people on a regular basis. But imagine how uncomfortable we get when your latest Pinterest board pins are all male underwear models.

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 3) I Need Time Away from You

Don’t misinterpret this: your company is well appreciated, it really is. But there is a thing called “guy time” in which a guy needs to unleash all the vulgarity, idioacy, and disgusting behavior upon his friends otherwise it will be fully held upon you. The best times for this phenomenon is during any sporting event, namely football on Sundays.

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4) Don’t Touch My Food*

*Only if i order something and you decided against it. If we go out to a restaurant for lunch and I order the ribs and you the salad, please don’t eat my ribs. You could’ve easily gotten them too. The easiest thing to do is ask if you can try some while we’re ordering because it’ll be so much easier to deal with some of the food being taken when you know it’s coming.

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5) Just Tell Me What You Want

Women are very complex and multifaceted creatures. Men are simple-minded neanderthals. Please just say what it is that you want and we can deliver. We’re like a soft drink machine, hit the button you want and exactly what you want will come. Assuming that we know exactly what it is you’re thinking about is a very dangerous game. You could be hinting at getting pizza for dinner and we could come back with Mexican. The odds are not in your favor.

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