Your Children Might Never Be Exactly Who You Want Them To Be, and That’s Okay

I know so many parents who have deterred their kids away from their biggest dreams. I understand wanting the best for your child and their future, but that’s exactly what it is: THEIR future. By determining the direction of all aspects of their children’s lives, parents place their kids into an imaginary bubble that they feel as though they’ll never be able to escape. A lot of parents try to shape their children into anything and everything that they never accomplished in their own lives. I know that they probably think “they have their child’s best interest at heart,” they think “they know best,” or they think “they’ll thank me when they’re older,” but all they’re really going to do is resent them. They’re going to resent not only their parents, but themselves for allowing their parents to direct their lives in such a way that eliminated all important decisions from being made directly by them. They’ll hate themselves for never becoming the vet that they always wanted to be because their parents wanted them to be a doctor instead. They’ll hate themselves for never majoring in visual arts because that was what truly made them happy, but instead taking political science to become the lawyer their father was never able to become when he was young. They’re going to regret, every single day for the rest of their lives, the control they allowed their parents to have over a life that wasn’t theirs to control.

I see people all the time who are stuck miserable in worlds they hate to please their parents. They wear clothes they aren’t comfortable in, become apart of groups they have no interest in, and try to establish relationships with people they can’t stand all to put smiles on their parents faces. Not only are they going to destroy any positive relationship they’d ever have with their kids, but they’re going to damage their self-worth, too. My advice: let your kids be who they are. Let them express every piece of them in every way that they’ve ever desired, as long as it’s not harming anyone. It’s okay if your kid doesn’t have a 4.0 in every semester in college; college is hard! It’s okay if they don’t become doctors, lawyers, or engineers; if they’re happy, healthy, and successful doing what they love, isn’t that the point? It’s okay if you don’t like the path your child chose to go down as long as it isn’t hurting anyone; adapt your attitudes and become more open-minded to your child’s interests. You may even discover something about yourself along the way.

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