Anatomy Of A Drunk Girl

Ooh you’ve spotted one, there it is, look at it. What you’re seeing is a wild drunk female on the prowl for more free drinks from fellow drunk males, and I’ll show you exactly how you’ll know it’s her.

Hair: Messy and frizzed out from sweaty clubs and possible drink spillage. Her hair could also be in a ponytail because she has decided she can’t even anymore.

Eyes: Half-closed and glazed over. She no longer cares what you’re saying just if it involves buying her more drinks. (Possibly tear-stained if you’ve got a drama queen on your hands.)

Mouth: Slack. She’s done for the night, and her lipstick that’s smearing off just proves that.

Head: Usually in full swivel looking for either any semi-decent boy or her BFF which she lost for the fourth time twenty minutes ago. Unless of course she’s sitting which in that case it’s probably lolling to one side, or maybe even deep in a toilet seat as she lets go of her last few martinis.

Chest: Her shirt at this point has slid down to the point of no return and she’s in severe danger of a potential nip slip. Cleavage and side boob will be readily available as well as half her bra hanging out.

Arms: Looped around another friend or the poor soul who decided to be nice to her as she’s being dragged home.

Backside: You know her skirt or shorts have reached full wedgie and half of her butt is glaring into your eyes.

Legs: As wobbly as a young baby deer learning to walk as she teeters in those high heels that looked so perfect at the beginning of the night.

Feet: Black from bar tar and possibly without shoes as she’s most likely carrying them in her hand.

Makeup: Gone…just gone. All that effort in the mirror is sweating off her face in a rainbow of colors and smears.

Awkward girl living an awkward life, entertaining the masses with my awkward situations. #hiimawkward

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