Dorm rooms and frat houses are now a thing of the past when it comes to a little campus rendezvous. That’s right people, we are talking about sex…and we’re talking about it everywhere. It’s time to give your roommate some space and make sure your friend for the night remembers you from all the other “swipe rights” on Tinder.
10. Campus Erection Program
There are many construction projects going on around campuses nationwide, and they are justscreaming to be christened with by two horny co-eds. This is a great spot for beginners because it can be used during the day or night with a somewhat idea of privacy. So whether it’s a new parking garage or a dorm building in the making, don’t forget to bring your hard hat.
Knocking oak bed posts? How about actual oaks that an old white dude might have stared at two hundred years ago while contemplating design plans for a university. Sexy, right? Find those trees that you always pass on a way to class and go shake some branches with your special friend. Even better, go green while other people are walking by. Just make sure when you try to get your Tarzan & Jane on that the evergreens are not already occupied by a family of raccoons and you have to run out screaming with fig leafs in hand…
Ever wondered why the library always makes every list of educational exhibitionism? Because it works! If you find intelligence in another person as a major turn on, then you have to get inside their brain (and maybe give some) in your local scholarly palace. Go find the most secluded part (somewhere around etymology and accounting) and go finger through some pages. You’ll never dread heading to the library ever again, promise you.
Your campus gym is always a good spot. Nothing is more relaxing then lifting weights then getting lifted, yourself, onto a locker-room counter. This is one workout where you’ll never think about throwing in the towel. Bonus points if ya’ll can stand the sauna for a round two.
While your clothes get clean, you’ll be getting dirty. Hop up on the washing machine and turn on the “towels” setting. It will feel great for the both of you. I promise you’ll never be taking your clothes home to mom ever again. Just remember to bring extra quarters, because nothing is more disappointing then not getting the clothes super clean and having to pick up another time. Also, once your finished, those hot clothes fresh out the dryer on your fresh out the sex cycle will feel so amazing.
If you like your men like you like your coffee (hot, rich, and in bed) then you’ll love grinding some coffee beans in your local coffee shop bathroom. Yes, it is a bathroom, but coffee shops probably have the most classiest bathrooms on campus and after all, you are a classy lady. Caffeine and oxytocin (hormone released during sex) is one hell of a mixture my friends. Bonus points if they keep their green apron on. Can you say free coffee for the next four years?
Regina George may have been a bitch, but at least she was a bad bitch. Grab the nearest theater/cinematography major and go make some strange shadow puppets on the walls. Just don’t sit on the actual projector… that will leave an interesting ass burn that your roommate will have to end up putting toothpaste an aloe vera on for a week.
Find the tallest building on campus and hop in with your partner and hit the highest floor and time yourselves. This is always fun because it gives a little competitive edge to such a daily routine. It’s even hotter when the tallest building just happens to house all of the teacher’s offices. You will never be able to get into an elevator ever again without having naughty flashbacks. Be sure to occupy the wall across from the buttons because accidentally opening on the 12th floor can be pretty embarrassing.
You know you have been eyeing the marble statue of your mascot ever since your freshman year when you took that awkward family photo in front of him as your first “photo as a college student.” So whether it’s a beaver or a gamecock, spread the school spirit with that girl from your Calc class. She’ll be screaming “GO CATS!” before you know it. Just remember to cover Brutus Buckeye’s eyes as you close yours, you know, out of respect and shit. Bonus points if you both can sing the entire fight song before finishing (if you have to sing it more than once…then you might as well just give up. You are unworthy.)
1.Between The Hedges
OK, now the spot you have been waiting for. Warning: this spot is for the experienced vet! Do not try this on your first go. You will fail…. and probably get arrested. During the off -season, sneak into your campus stadium/arena (any sport of your preference) and score a homerun. Bonus points if its with an actual player. Trust me, you’ll never look at that 50-yard line the same for the rest of your entire life.
Best of Luck! Stay Safe & Stay Smart!
