Dating

College Students Share Worst Dating Experiences Ever, And It’s Perfection To Read

Writ­ten By: Macken­zie Newcomb

I’ve had my share of bad dates, includ­ing one that ended in “you and me, we will never work­out, but we should be sex friends” (although hon­estly that might not even have been the worst.) I asked my read­ers to tell me about THEIR worst date ever, and the responses were awe­some. If you think you have either a ter­ri­ble date story or an awk­ward hookup story, be sure to sub­mit them.

1.) A guy picked me up at my house for a movie date when I was a sopho­more. We were meet­ing my friend and her date there. He showed up sun­burnt and shit-faced with beer in hand(while dri­ving). We got there, he makes us see Ter­mi­na­tor, and pro­ceeds to yell at the screen in between pass­ing out. At one point he excuses him­self to the restroom only to come back announc­ing to basi­cally the entire the­atre a very loud graphic shit he wit­nessed taken by another movie goer. After the movie, he asked me if my friend’s was retarded (actu­ally meant it) AND sang torn by Natalie Imbruglia the whole way home.

2.) I was set up once with a fam­ily friend’s nephew who I was told was in a band. I thought that fact made the guy seem pretty cool so I agreed to a blind date. About an hour before the date, I got a text about how this guy had to go to an emer­gency youth group meet­ing and if I didn’t mind going, we could go to din­ner after. Of course I agreed because I’m way too nice. So I ended up in a youth group meet­ing, where the leader was this guy’s dad – awk­ward moment num­ber one. I also ended up find­ing out my blind date’s band was actu­ally a screamo Chris­t­ian rock band. After an hour of lis­ten­ing to the true mean­ing of love, the sub­ject of the meet­ing since it was close to valen­tines day, which made the whole sit­u­a­tion even more awk­ward, I was ready to go home. I texted my mom to pick me up and thanked her repeat­edly for never sub­ject­ing me to youth group and for sav­ing me from the date from hell.

3.) She was snobby, crazy and didn’t appre­ci­ate my style. I made her pay.

4.) I had a guy I was see­ing come visit me at school sopho­more year and we decided to get fro yo. He made me pay because “he had to pay for gas” and when we were done he kissed me by the dump­ster and pre­tended to throw me in it.

5.) My first (and last ever) tin­der date was with­out a doubt the worst date I’ve ever been on. I match with this kid and after a few days of harm­less flirt­ing he tells me he wants to take me on a nice date. It was restau­rant week on the vine­yard so he finds a super fancy place and makes a reser­va­tion. When the day comes he picks me up and shakes my hand when he intro­duces him­self to me. As were dri­ving and mak­ing small talk, he admits to me that he’s been drink­ing all day and is a lit­tle buzzed (strike 1). The din­ner itself went decently, but when the $138 check came to the table he looks at me and says “wanna split it?” (strike two. Don’t take me to an expen­sive place on a first date and expect me to pay. I’m not a Rock­e­feller). He begrudg­ingly pays and we leave. As were dri­ving home he decides he wants to show me where Bar­bra Wal­ters lives, incase you didn’t know it’s down a sketchy dirt road that’s 3 miles long. We get to the end of the road and he points to the dri­ve­way and goes “yeah she lives down there”. He then pulls the car into a makeshift park­ing spit and puts it in park. While this is all hap­pen­ing I texted my best friend and had her call me to tell me she’s sick, which she ever so won­der­fully did. We pulled out of the spot and he rudely pro­claims “didn’t even pay for din­ner and you’re cut­ting our date short.. Jesus.” (Strike three). We finally arrive home and I jump out of the car and run in the house. Jump for­ward 3 days and sev­eral ignored texts later, I’m at a bar with my friends and he marches right up to me. I exchange awk­ward pleas­antries with him and leave. As I’m walk­ing out I get a text read­ing “you don’t have to fake it you know…” His num­bers now been deleted and blocked. Long story short; when some­one asks if you want to see Bar­bra Wal­ters house, say no.

6.) He pinched my side when I told him I had to wear tight shirts to work… and said “just mak­ing sure you could pull that off.” And then pro­ceeded to come back from the bath­room with a white “pow­der” under his nose.

7.) So, this was a Tin­der date. I met up with this kid to see his friend’s band play at a local bar. When I showed up, as soon as I saw him, I knew I wanted to gtfo. He was way shorter and uglier in per­son and super awk­ward. So this bar is basi­cally empty except for his friends and the band. He’s pretty drunk and puts his arm around me and I’m obvi­ously so uncom­fort­able. His band starts play­ing and it’s a band with­out a singer so I’m lis­ten­ing to inter­lude music while also dying on the inside because this guy is grop­ing me. He obvi­ously thinks the date is going well because he starts kiss­ing me on the cheek. Then I’m try­ing to avoid look­ing at him and he blows on me. HE BLOWS ON ME. I’m obvi­ously not going to turn my face towards his. About an hour of this goes by and I finally find the oppor­tu­nity to duck. And have avoided his texts ever since.

8.) I was a fresh­man in high school so I had never been on an “offi­cial date.” In fact, I still won­der if he con­sid­ered it a date? Anyway….I had a HUGE crush on my friend who was a senior and one day he asked me to hang­out after school. We decided Buf­falo Wild Wings was the move (how roman­tic). I was so ner­vous about look­ing like a hot mess while eat­ing the wings (no pun intended) so I ordered a salad. He, on the other hand, opted for the “dia­blo” wings just to try them out. By his sec­ond wing there were tears flow­ing down his face, a pool of sweat form­ing under the arms of his Hol­lis­ter sweat­shirt, and his eyes were glassier than Snoop Dogg’s. I was so over­whelm­ingly uncom­fort­able that I asked him if he wanted a bite of my salad, but he could not form the words be needed to. See­ing his was in obvi­ous pain, the wait­ress brought over water, bread, and sugar to soothe the poor kid’s taste buds. After 10 min­utes of these reme­dies, he seemed to be out of hell. I couldn’t bear to see him reach for another hot wing so I told him I had to be home. The moral of the story is, if he’s cryin on the first date, there prob­a­bly won’t be a sec­ond. …At least he paid.

9.) A few years ago my boyfriend at the time and I had planned a nice date night in. We were going to make din­ner and watch movies, cute cou­ple things. How­ever when I got to his house I walked in to see his ex on top of him on his couch. Not only was I pissed off but we then had to bring her home. Instead of din­ner and a movie he spent the night try­ing to explain what was going on. It ended up with things being thrown and me walk­ing home. I let him try to explain him­self the next day, but what I got from his ex was he wasn’t expect­ing me for an hour, and they had been “talk­ing” a few times a week try­ing to “fig­ure stuff out”. Let’s just say he was soon sin­gle and could “talk” to any­one he wanted.

10.) So, I had a class with this guy in the fall semes­ter of 2012. He was really weird, and I had no inter­est in him at all really. He asked me out to din­ner, and I didn’t want to say no and hurt his feel­ings so I said yes to be nice. I decided to drive myself there, and thank God I did. Within the first five min­utes, he downed two wicked big beers. He claimed that it was “to calm the nerves”. It took him forty five min­utes just to choose his entree, which he later told me that the rea­son for that was the boner he had the whole time… At the end of the night, we walked out to the park­ing lot where he forced a kiss on me and shoved his tongue down my throat in the process. I pushed him off off me, said I was leav­ing and then washed my mouth out with mouth­wash as soon as I got home. Never again.

11.) It was the first “offi­cial” date between me and my then-fix–an aspir­ing invest­ment banker and frat star extra­or­di­naire. He takes me to an impres­sive but obscenely over­priced steak­house down­town, where all of my energy is expended forc­ing a coy smile while my seven-years-strong veg­e­tar­ian self inter­nally cries out for help (or at least a Cliff bar). Decid­ing that it was best to be an expen­sive date than risk look­ing like an anorexic, I order the $32 mac ‘n cheese. He out-does me by order­ing the chef’s choice. In attempts to drown out the seem­ingly end­less “sto­ries” of how his golf game is at it’s peak or about his upcom­ing trip with the boys to Tahoe, I order a glass of wine. He pro­ceeds to drink six (yes, six!) craft brews. We top off the meal with an array of fancy desserts, while he force­fully draws the com­par­is­sion to his chic home­town coun­try club (as opposed to the one his par­ents bought him into at col­lege). Just as I began to seri­ously con­sid­ered scal­ing down the pier and test­ing my swim­ming skills in the river, I spot­ted the waiter bring­ing the check. The end was in sight to my relief, or at least so I thought… He winks at me and reaches into his back pocket to grab his card, only to release he left his wal­let at home in his work slacks. I begrudg­ingly pick up the tab, which need­less to say, cost more than the Wang bag I got at last year’s sam­ple sale. He never called me again.

12.) I met the girl online on POF. We exchanged mes­sages, lived only a town away and had some com­mon inter­ests so nat­u­rally decided to hang out. When I go and pick her up I real­ized that she was not the girl in the pic­tures she had posted…. uhh…????? (she wasn’t UGLY in per­son, but I wouldnt have been as inclined to meet up with her). So not want­ing to hurt her feel­ings after her try­ing to explain her­self, I decide to go out with her any­way, at least we had some com­mon inter­ests. Turns out she made up all of those inter­ests as well. I bought her one drink, and she bought her­self 3 more while I drank water… awkward.

13.) I went on a blind date and arranged to pick up this girl in Boston. When I picked her up, she was just get­ting out of work at a vet clinic. She smelled of wet dog and threw all of her dog scented clothes on my back seat. She obvi­ously used angles on her face­book page because she was an entirely dif­fer­ent look­ing per­son, not for the bet­ter. She asked, “Do I smell like dog?” and pro­ceeded to take out my air fresh­ener and rub her neck with it. I CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP. I’m a gen­tle­man, so I still took her to the movies, where she repeat­edly tried to move in for a kiss. I refused as non­cha­lantly as I could muster and drover her home after­wards, where she asked if I wanted to meet her mom. She still hits me up to this day, to try and meet up and politely refuse to this day. Worst date ever.

14.) I had been talk­ing to this guy that I went to high school with and he told me he wanted to take me out for din­ner and a movie. Instead, he sends me a text at 3 pm (an hour before the movie starts), brings me for ice cream that we ate in his car, admit­ted that he hated the movie we were about to watch, and asked my opin­ion on abor­tion (which we dis­agreed on, by the way). I was home before dark and I never ate din­ner that night.

15.) A guy said he wanted to take me out for din­ner… He ended up tak­ing me to a take­out place, ordered food– which I thought was for the both of us – then he paid for it and then when we sat down he started eat­ing it and said why didn’t you get any­thing? …………ohh okay.

16.) I went on a blind date where the guy took me to Taco Bell and then the arcade to play air hockey for a kiss. I’m fine with this as some­thing to do with a boyfriend, but not a first date.

17.) One time this girl asked me out on a date to go see a movie. She ended up pick­ing Black Swan….it was awk­ward to say the least.

18.) I met this guy through a mutual friend and we hit it off. He was kind of chubby but had a cute face. I’m not usu­ally one for the chubby guys but I gave him a shot. I invited him to come out with a group of friends and some of my cousins as well. One drink turned into 2 and 2 to 3 and so on. Every­thing was great, we danced and laughed and the whole nine yards. At the end of the night, the des­ig­nated dri­ver was dri­ving us back to my aunts when I got a bit dizzy and yacked all over his shorts in the back seat. It was so bad that my uncle had to give him an extra pair of shorts. Then he tucked me in and left. To my sur­prise, he wanted to hang out again, but I didn’t. He blew up my phone for months before he got the hint…

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I might actu­ally have a worse story. A year ago, this guy showed up a half an hour late to the date with­out a shirt on. He explained to me that he was late because he was fight­ing with his ex, whom he was still liv­ing with, while he looked for a shirt in the back of his car. Then he spent the whole din­ner com­plain­ing about, not just his ex, but every ex he has had, and how they all seem nor­mal at first but some­how turn into crazy bitches after dat­ing him.

A cou­ple months ago, I saw this guy at a party, and, against my bet­ter judge­ment, decided to talk to him because “he might have changed”. We saw eachother for two months and had an awe­some time. Then I told him I would be down for an open rela­tion­ship and he started doing drugs again. He started intro­duc­ing me to dif­fer­ent ran­dom girls he was sleep­ing with (none of whom stuck around), was try­ing to get me in bed with them (but they were all straight), and try­ing to act like a pimp. How­ever, if I were to even touch another guy he would freak out. I made up my mind to dump him while he was telling me about our mar­riage plans.

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