This story is a warning tale for all you males out there. Please never try this on any girl in any variation. Although it will give the girl and her friends a GREAT laugh and an entertaining story to tell, it will not get you the girl herself.
One night, my friends and I were walking from a bar over to a frozen yogurt shop for a little snack before heading home. Plenty of drunk people were roaming the streets so we were having our share of laughs already. As we were about to enter the shop, a (hopefully extremely intoxicated) guy called out to me. He said, and I quote, “Hey baby I’ll buy you all the frozen yogurt you want!” So naturally, I turned to see what weirdo would make that sort of comment expecting it to work, and as I turned around to look at him, we made eye contact, and he said, “As long as you let me eat it off your tits.” I exploded into laughter and pushed my friends into the shop hoping this creeper wouldn’t follow me in there. Thankfully he didn’t, but we spent the next few hours laughing and reenacting his now famous line.
The best part though, is the reactions I get from the people I tell. Usually, and not so unexpectedly, if it’s a guy, I get: “Well hey! It’s free frozen yogurt, why didn’t you say yes!?” That response never fails to make me laugh because it shows the true nature of guys. Their focus being purely on the food, they think it’s funny, yet when I ask if they would ever try and pull that same line, they insist that they would never (I think otherwise..) And of course if it’s a girl I get the obvious and expected response of: “WHAT THE HECK THAT IS SO CREEPY!” Because these girls understand the uncomfortableness of the situation, they understand how my friends and I felt, and they respond in what I’d like to think is a normal fashion. It’s funny to hear the comparison though, but sometimes I do follow along with the boys’ trains of thought and wonder if I would’ve gotten free yogurt if I had accepted….
