How Being “Skinny” Ruined My Self-Esteem

Teenage girl (16-18) with measuring tape wrapped around body

Unless you live under a rock and don’t have social media, if you go on Instagram you’ll see thousands of hashtags such as #thighgap or #fitspo. There’s always the newest fad diet-the cranberry juice diet, the paleo diet and the eat only green stuff diet. What we want to achieve is that key word “skinny”. But in reality is being “skinny” worth all the anxiety and stress?

Growing up I was a naturally thin girl with a super fast metabolism. I could down an entire meal and still have room for dessert and not have a single ounce of fat on me. Once I entered college however, things changed. My metabolism started to slow down, I was busier with school and work and my eating choices (and partying) didn’t help. I put on about 10 pounds my freshman year, now instead of weighing 102 pounds I weighed about 112.

I could tell I gained some weight, but I shrug it off at first, to me I was still a relatively thin girl and shouldn’t fuss about the small weight gain. However, my family didn’t feel the same way. My parents pointed out my weight gain and it tore me apart.

I started to become obsessed with healthy eating and working out. I cut my calorie intake down to 700 calories a day and would do a ton of cardio- my life revolved around my diet. Although I saw the pounds melting off, I still found myself disgusted with my body.

After about a month of crash dieting I had a slight nervous breakdown and quit it all together. I felt frustrated at the fact that I was 112 pounds and that wasn’t considered good enough. Women all around the world are constantly told they need to look a certain way, but unfortunately these ideals aren’t realistic.

I currently live a happy, healthier lifestyle-although I may not have a thigh gap or a super flat stomach, I’m still an attractive girl and hope to never feel that way again. I no longer use the word “skinny” I prefer words such as cute, sexy, lean; because no one should feel disgusted about themselves.


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