I Always Want What I Can’t Have and I Hate It

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For some reason it’s a natural thing for people to constantly want what we can’t have – whether it’s the last piece of chocolate or the person you have a crush on but is already in a relationship. There’s always that burning desire to have the things that we don’t already – and I’m not just talking about material goods or that boy/girl we like.

I’ll often find myself wishing that I had this or that and wishing that I took a different path in life. I’m single so I want to be in a relationship. I’m in a relationship so all of a sudden I realize how much I took being single for granted. I have naturally curly hair so instead I wish it was straight. No matter what it is – I always seem to want the things that I can’t have.


For example, I go to a medium sized private college, but the minute I see my friends posting online about the things they get to do at their large public school it makes me realize how much I want to experience that version of college life. I want the big football games and the school spirit and the large classes even though I chose my university because it had smaller class sizes and was the best choice for my major. All of a sudden all I can focus on is the experiences that I’m not getting as opposed to the ones that I am.

I’ll also find myself wondering what it would be like if I had blonde hair and blue eyes instead of the brown hair and brown eyes that I was born with. It’s not that I hated the way I looked, I just didn’t know what it was like to be on the other end of the spectrum. Originally I couldn’t understand why, but then I realized it was simple: I just wanted what I didn’t already have.


No matter how often I remind myself that I live a good life and that I love it, I can’t help but constantly want the things that I don’t have or the memories and experiences that I’m not getting. I hate it.

I wish that I could just be happy with the life that I’m living and the choices I’ve made. I hate that I constantly question what would’ve happened if I went to a public school instead of a private one because I chose to go to my school. No one influenced me, I made the decision on my own. I also hate that I constantly wonder what I would look like with blonde hair and blue eyes because my brown hair and brown eyes make me look like my parents and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I always want what I can’t have and I hate it, so as Kathleen A. Sutton once said, “When you can’t have what you want, it’s time to start wanting what you have.”

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