If you Try These Pick Up Lines, You’re Doomed To Fail

​Just a few SUPER clever and smooth pickup lines that were used on my friends and I on one highly entertaining spring break.

​To start, we have my personal favorite used by a poor young lad from Michigan who I hope was under the influence, otherwise he’s never getting a girlfriend.​

1) “Hey, do you have a bandaid? Because I think I scraped my knee falling for ya.”

Okay…no. Boys take note, a girl may laugh at this particular line, but she is only laughing at the fact that one, you’ve given her quite an entertaining image in her head of you busting it in the sand, and two, that was pitiful. No girl will want to be swept into your arms and taken to your room after that one. It may sound clever in your head, but it only sounds childish and desperate in hers. Though I do give him props because we laughed about that for the rest of the week.

​This next one was used by two boys that week. One was a surfer looking wannabe and the other was an attractive male with awful social skills. Both were used in response to a guy either whistling or flirting with the girl they had apparently “chosen” for the day.

​2) “Woah dude, this is my girlfriend.”

No. Just no. If a girl met you an hour ago she will not be flattered if you call her your girlfriend, she will be extremely creeped out and will want to escape from the arm you just swung around her. The only time this pickup line is acceptable is when the girl is being hassled by a guy and is visibly uncomfortable, and you are trying to help her out. She will appreciate that you got her out of that situation. So used in the right way, this line can be helpful, just not when it makes her look unavailable during a time where she has set out to meet guys, when she barely knows you, and when she does NOT plan on being your girlfriend…

​Lastly, we have the all time failure used by a stumbling drunk guy out on the beach in a large crowd. ​

3) “Hey red bathing suit, wanna make out?”​

Unless you look like David Beckham or Zac Efron, this will most likely (now there are desperate and drunk girls who will fall for this) blow up in your face. Also, girls don’t really like being called by what they’re wearing, it sends out an automatic douche signal and makes them not want to listen or respond to whatever follows the initial call out. A better idea would’ve been to ask her name, impress her with some smooth talking, and then maybe later when she’s decided you aren’t completely weird and creepy, ask her if she would like to kiss you.

​Boys, know that a lot of your pickup lines suck and won’t work. Step it up and make her think, and never use these if you’re trying to be smooth.


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