An Open Letter To Every Kid That Has Lost A Parent

Dear you,

Yes, you.  The one whose mood gets a little darker when you realize it is Father’s or Mother’s Day.  The one who has to scroll past all those ‘omg I would be lost without my mom/dad’ Facebook statuses.  The one who was always missing one hugely important person at your major life experiences, like graduation or your wedding.

First of all, you are so incredibly strong.  We live in a world in which the family is a crucial dynamic for functioning in society, and to live with a missing piece is a battle that is incredibly difficult to fight.  I am so proud of you for getting out of bed each day and choosing to continue on, even when it is difficult.  It is so unfair that you have to go through this, but you are doing an incredible job, and I love you very much.

Allow me to offer a few words of advice, that I have gathered from personal experience:

You are not alone.  Losing someone that you have known all your life, that was supposed to be by your side to guide you through your tumultuous years is incredibly painful and feels wrong on every level, but does not isolate you from the world.  Do not close yourself off, although that may feel like the most pain-numbing option.  If it doesn’t feel like you can do it for yourself, do it for them.

It is not your fault.  Whether your loss was sudden, or with advance knowledge, it is not your fault.  Even at three in the morning, when you are shaking and crying in the bathroom, when you just know you could have done something to avoid all this pain – it is not your fault.  Life gives and takes as it pleases, with little regard for our feelings and plans, and we all have to learn to live in the aftermath.  It is not your fault.next

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