1. We don’t camp outside for deals. Just no.
2. Why wake up at 3 am when you can sleep in and get the same deals all day?
3. We don’t need a map of all of the stores we want to hit before closing time…. Because they’re all in one spot.
4. No hunting, fist fighting, or bribing people for a parking spot.
5. Shopping in pajamas? Don’t mind if I do.
6. No lines. Enough said.
7. No crazy coupon clipping for us. All we need is a neatly organized list of discount codes and sales.
8. You don’t have to team up to survive which means there is no one in the group to slow you down.
9. Wine. Wine. Wine. Wine.
10. We don’t have to limit ourselves to what we can carry- we simply add to cart.
11. Hungry? Good luck with that 2 hour wait in the food court. We’ll just be over here munching on Thanksgiving leftovers.
12. You can search the mall high and low for the limited edition toy your niece wants but you’ve never heard of…. or you can Google it.
13. No sneaking home to hide the evidence of your crazy spending. It’s like it didn’t even happen…. For another 5-7 business days.
14. You’re not exhausted from walking all damn day, so you’re totally ready to celebrate all of the amazing deals you got with your girlfriends.
15. And LOL at all of the crazy people who tortured themselves on Black Friday.
