So, I haven’t got an exact map laid out with every winding road and intersection. There will never be a step-by-step guide to finding enlightenment and joy within yourself, but there is some common ground amongst us all. You’d be surprised who the number one villain is in plaguing your happiness. I’m not giving away all my secrets so quickly; we just met and you haven’t even asked me to dinner yet.
Aristotle’s Definition of Happiness begins with “Happiness depends on ourselves”. We in fact are the only obstacle and disease of our bliss. Think about how you handle situations and the paths you take on a daily basis. You could be:
The Crier: bad news hits and you hit the fridge. You spend your days locked in your room sulking in your own misery about something that is completely out of your control. You fill your mind with theories about where things went wrong and what you could have done. Killing yourself and your spirit, damaging your mind and your heart. Listen; get yourself out of bed, now. No, not in 20 minutes when you feel like it, now. Stop letting outside forces make you miserable. There’s no need to be balling your eyes out alone to The Notebook. 1. Not healthy and 2. Ryan Gosling will give you no hope in the average man (let’s be honest, he’s a god among men). You need to tell yourself, “hey, I’m alive” It’s kind of great being able to walk down the street and meet a friend for a quick bite. You can let yourself sulk and be depressed or you can choose to be positive and look to the future. Things will get better and the future is bright.
The Downer: So you’re the stick in the mud (no offense, sticks). You look for the worst in any give situation: your waitress made your BLT the wrong way, looks like that day’s ruined. You didn’t get your way in a group project, might as well fail the class now. Your friends constantly try to cheer you up because they have no idea why you’re in such a somber mood all the time. Listen up here, Debby-Downers. Life is not always going to go your way. That’s just a matter of fact and one you need to accept. There will be moments when you will just want to give up rather than try. Don’t. Accept the challenges and work through them with a smile on your face. I hate to make use of common expressions, but “take everything with a grain of salt”. Flip bad situations into positive ones. Easier said than done, I know. It took me years to practice this, but trust me it will make you feel so much better about life and yourself. If it’s a breakup, transform yourself and do something new. You lost your job, buy a new suit, hit the papers and do some networking. You’re in debt, start a budget plan and do a few extra jobs. Life isn’t out to get you; you’re out to get yourself.
The Faker: You would shit rainbows if you could. You always have a smile on a face and are constantly trying to remove large poles out of people’s asses. You look on the brightside of everything and rarely let things get to you. I’m sorry, but I’m calling bull. Sure, you may act like everything is peachy and nothing gets you done. Secretly, your world is probably more fucked up than most. You’ve been through a lot in your life and over the years you’ve learned to put it behind you — to keep emotions locked up in your mind to be forgotten and not mentioned. You’re only lying to yourself and those lies will start to affect your relationships. You need to deal with those emotions because faking happiness will only hurt yourself in the long run. Deal with your past and the problems of you present so you can have a better future.
If you can’t associate yourself with one of those three, I tried. Being happy isn’t about the things you have or the ideas of something, it’s about accepting reality and handling it in a healthy way that’s internally beneficial. You must start with yourself, realize your imperfections, and strive to improve them before you can be happy with anyone but yourself.
Stop being the roadblock in your path to happiness. It’s about as damaging as a nuclear weapon to the heart and mind. Go out and love life. Find a new restaurant, explore a random city, do something on your bucket list. Stop sitting around waiting for life to happen and make it happen. Once you realize that you control your happiness, everything else will fall into place.
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