Rules Of The Dating Game (2)

6. You can’t text back too quickly because God forbid you seem too eager.  You have to make it seem like you have some sort of life and not like your staring at your phone’s screen waiting for their name to pop up, even though you very well might be.

5. In the midst of all this getting to know each other, one of you added the other on snap. GREAT ANOTHER WAY YOU HAVE TO GET GOOD AT FLIRTING!  You now, on top of analyzing every text you send and the amount of time waited before you send it, you have to beware of how quick you’re opening snaps and not opening snaps before you open texts, because then they know you’re avoiding answering, and your life has to seem twice as interesting as it actually is- I mean that is all social media is right? Making your life seem interesting when 90% of your time is spent in bed with a bag of chips watching Law & Order?

4. Never be the one to text them first after the first time you guys hang out.  Of course because that would imply that you’re needy, right?  So you gotta play it cool, as if yeah, you had a good time… but whatevs.

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