Written By: Soumya Sudhakar
Just two words ‘I’m sorry’ can mend and restore broken bridges. These two words pack so much power. However, the importance that they hold in a relationship remains largely undermined and goes unnoticed always. Saying you are sorry is the gateway to your partner’s heart. It is not just about the words here, but the feeling that you experience that back it up. If you are sincere and your apology is honest enough, you can be rest assured that these two words have the incredible and latent potential to dissolve all tension and anger, they can heal a heart that is shattered to pieces and restore lost pride.
Studies show that the health benefits of apologizing are numerous. When the mind is at peace and you live in an atmosphere that is serene, your stress levels and blood pressure are automatically lowered. Human beings are neither designed nor structured to cope with friction and bitterness over long periods of time. Besides, psychotherapists believe that people who are incapable of apologizing or always avoid it have a major flaw in their personality. It is a negative quality because in a true and healthy relationship, there is no space for ego issues. There is adequate room for forgiveness and apologizing. This does not mean that partners have to relentlessly apologize to each other just to save their energy and the relationship.
Another important thing is to learn how not to apologize if you are not at fault to help the other person become a little more mature. Instead of an apology, there are many other ways of getting the point across without sounding egoistic and arrogant. It is all about timing it accurately, saying it the right way without hurting anyone and making amends as and when required. You will get stronger and feel less stressed.
So, what constitutes a great apology? The first element is to feel remorse and regret for your actions, the second is to take responsibility for it and the third is to do whatever you can to better the situation. It is not just about apologizing to your partner, but it is also about the other people in your life like apologizing to a friend if you are really late for an appointment with them or your kids if you promised to be at their baseball game or pick them up from their ballet class and could not make it when they expected you to be there. These situations demand a full apology, wherein you not only apologize for your present behavior and attitude, but also assure your loved ones that it will never happened again. The bottom line is that you have to keep it serious, simple and short. Apologize like you truly mean it!
If both of you are at fault, initiating an apology is the ‘prerogative’ of both the parties involved. There are two ways of going about it. The first one is to approach the problem without any anger and give the other person ample scope and space to apologize. The second approach is to give the problem some time and just keep quiet till the other person is ready to let it go.
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