This Article Was Originally Published By Our Friends Over At FLOCKU
Here’s What Happened:
Last year, a group of friends and I headed to Florida to spring break at one of the kids in the group’s family beach house. This kid also happened to be a current fling of mine.
One night when a bunch of our friends spent the night out at the bars, this guy and I decided to make it a date-night (not something I do too often). We went to dinner, grabbed a couple of drinks, and made our way back to his place for a movie on his outdoor patio, you know – one of the nice-ass ones with a full bar and outdoor entertainment system.
About thirty minutes into “Netflix and chill” he suggested a little idea to me. Fucking on the beach. Being that we were on a strip of beach that housed higher-end beach home (mansions), it was a private beach and very often empty.
So we grabbed a blanket and headed down, sticking fairly close to his property still, just too make sure we were as secluded as we could be. The beginning was fun, making out and a blow job is pretty doable. But as soon as we started actually fucking I realized this was a one-time thing.
Here’s What I learned:
1. Sand is far from comfortable.
Sure, laying out on the beach on a beautifully sunny day is paradise and perfectly comfortable. However, if you actually try to fuck on sand – it’s really pretty hard. The second you start going you’ll realize this isn’t going to be as enjoyable as you were hoping it would be.
2. Sand will go places sand shouldn’t go.
After hooking up on the beach I totally understand the purpose of swimsuits (ya know, beside making us not naked). As soon as you’re full nude on the beach you will realize that there are crevices you didn’t even know existed on your body. Enjoy the world’s longest shower trying to rid yourself of sand.
3. It’s a little too in public.
Clearly if you’ve read literally any of the other pieces in this series, I’m no stranger to sex in public places. But until this little fling, I’ve even kept those on the private side, hooking up behind closed (and locked) doors. This was the first instance where there was absolutely zero protection from possible onlookers, even though it was a private beach, there was still that possibility of a random stranger making their way to the same part of the beach.
4. It’s really not that romantic.
Which actually surprised me. Something about the beach and a hook-up makes you feel like you should be experiencing something out of a movie. I would like to clarify for anyone wanting to fuck with an ocean view – it’s not romantic. Nothing about it is romantic. Just look out the fucking window for the view.
Would I do it again:
Surprisingly, or not-so-surprisingly considering what I learned, I would absolutely not do this again. Even if you’re hooking up on a blanket or towel, sand is going to go where sand should not be going. It’s uncomfortable and impractical, and in this case I would much rather find myself a nice bed to hook-up in. You don’t have to spend an ungodly amount of time cleaning sand out of every part of your body after fucking in a bed.
