5.) Ben Carson
When the Carson shows up to the party, you may think to yourself “He really seems like he knows what he is talking about. I can’t wait to have a meaningful discussion with that guy.” However, as the party progresses, things start to get a little weird. You walk into a discussion he is having with a few other guests in which he asserts that there is proof that Mount Rushmore was carved by aliens and Jesus. You are tempted to ask if he is being serious, but you think “surely he is only kidding…right?” The night continues and you see he is taking part in yet another lively discussion, naturally you decide to peek in and see if you would like to join the conversation. But after taking your place in the circle you hear the Carson say “…and that is when I realized that all well known monuments, are actually just ancient grain storage devices!” Okay, this guy must be drunk.
4.) Jeb Bush
To be honest, you probably won’t party with a Jeb too often. Who knows whether or not he is a good guy, who cares, his brother used to come to college parties all the time and he never failed to screw everything up! What is even worse is he just left the mess for some other poor guy to try to clean up. When you do see the Jeb out, he is met by a never ending stream of jokes about his family name. Who could ever say whether or not this guy would be a good party guest…but history says no.
3.) Bernie Sanders
The Bernie might be the person to have at your shindig. This guy is all about equality, and if you don’t believe me, you will when he brings two 30 packs of “community Natty” to the party. Yeah, the Bernie is that guy, the one who can talk that rich guy with the good weed into letting you hit the next blunt. The problem? Nobody knows about any of his good deeds! That is right, it doesn’t matter how many people this guy seems to impress, the majority still pretend he doesn’t exist. Why? Who knows. Maybe our next candidate can help shed some light on the situation.
