One of the most frustrating things for people who are addicted to their cellphones is a slow texter. People like us don’t understand why it could possibly take a person more than 5 minutes to answer a text even though we clearly understand that people have other things going on. When you’re texting someone that you’re interested in and they happen to be a slow texter, people like me have all sorts of insane ideas to explain for their lack of speedy replies. Here are the series of thoughts that we psychos have run through our heads while waiting for a slow texter to text us back:
“Come on, I know your phone is in your hand, like, 24/7, so why aren’t you texting me back?!”
“Maybe his phone died. No worries.”
“Or maybe he died…!”
“Maybe he just lost it in his couch cushions!”
“Or dropped it in the toilet…”
“Or maybe his dog buried it…?”
“Ugh, he’s probably just not into me…”
“But WHY?! I’m freaking awesome.”
“Except for when I watch two whole seasons of Grey’s Anatomy in two days…”
“Or when I eat a whole pizza by myself.”
“No, it can’t be me… Maybe he’s playing hard to get? I mean come on, it’s been, like, 6 whole minutes already!”
“OH! A text! *Mom: What do u want 4 dinner?* UGH!”
“Wait, he texted back!!!”
“*Him: ok*”
“Are you kiDDING ME?! It took him 12 minutes and 48 seconds to type ‘ok’?!?!?”
“*texts back ‘:)’ in 17 seconds flat and immediately regrets your life*”
