Three Signs your Friend may be in a Toxic Relationship

 

 

When we think of abusive relationships, many of us automatically think of physical abuse and bruises or even threats of blackmail and suicide if they ended the relationship. But sometimes, the signs other people see aren’t bruises, but rather things that may just seem protective and “sweet,” even. Below, I’ve listed three different signs that could hit at a toxic relationship. But one things to remember is to not jump to absolute conclusions. Yes, seek help even if you’re unsure, but don’t mark the significant other as the terrible villain – sometimes, they’re not even aware that they’re going too far and are willing to work through things. But unfortunately, it seems that people with these tendencies go back to their old ways in times of stress without even thinking of it.

 

 

Okay, so making sure he/she hasn’t made big plans is one thing, but having to call to get “permission” to go to something like a part? That can very well be a reason to worry, especially if their S.O. says no.

I have friends whose boy/girlfriends like for them to text when they get back from a night out and it’s really sweet. But if they have to continually leave the table to take their calls, or worse, take pictures as “proof,” that should raise a huge red flag.

 

Okay admit it: many of us find it cute when our S.O. gets a little jealous. But when it gets to the point that someone fears talking to anyone or doing anything that they would deem “unfit,” there’s something wrong there.

If you think one or more of these apply to a friend’s relationship, always start by talking to them. They may not want to talk about it, deny it, or make excuses for their S.O., but there isn’t an excuse for mistreating someone you love. If you fear for a friend’s mental or physical safety, and not in a case of an emergency (in which case call 911 of course), contact a counselor, talk to their/your RA or an adult you trust, or call a hotline (numbers will be listed below).

May they get mad at you or even seem to hate you? That could happen, but in the long run, their safety is more important. And even if you’re not sure, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

And finally, if you’re reading this and feel that it applies to your own relationship, it doesn’t make you weak to go seek out help. You deserve to be happy and healthy. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

For more information, visit loveisrespect.org.

Hotline (National Domestic Violence Hotline): 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

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