The semester is half over. And I have to admit, I was expecting things to go a little differently…
Things are not going as smoothly as I had hoped. You’re not perfect, and I’m certainly not either. But there are some things that I assumed would go a different way, and I really don’t want to live that way for the remainder of the school year.
Before you hate me, have a listen…
You don’t shower more than once every two weeks and our room reeks. You eat my Chinese takeout from the fridge even when it has my name on it. And you spray toothpaste all over the bathroom mirror while you brush your teeth and I can’t see myself when I go to do my hair. These may all be things that don’t seem like a big deal to you, and maybe they’re normal, but they’re making me want to hire a poodle to pee on your bed.
Can we set up some rules?
8. A minimum of two showers a week, please? I get that sometimes we just don’t have time. You’re up late, and dry shampoo really does make your hair look like magic. But when you make the whole house reek with your stanky presence, you need to be clean. There will be no complaints when a bucket of water is poured over your head if you fail to meet this standard.
7. First come, first serve on the tv. Please don’t tell anyone I watch Pretty Little Liars, and I promise I won’t tape over your sunrise yoga series from PBS.
