5. “I have terrible diarrhea. I can’t even get off the toilet.” The chance that anyone will actually believe you is slim. The chance that they will have a choice to, even slimmer. Really disgusting, but can’t be disproved. Diarrhea just might be your best bet.
4. “I went out to eat with my roommate last night and I’m having a terrible allergic reaction. My eyes are so swollen I can’t even open them.” You can see well enough to log onto your computer, access your email, and send one but you can’t quite get those eyes wide enough to bubble in A,B,C, or D. It really makes a lot more sense before being said out loud.
3. “My dog died and my parents scheduled his funeral on the same day as the exam. It was the only day all my family could make it.” It looks like everyone will be able to make the funeral except you.
2. “I accidentally ate a pot brownie and now I can’t concentrate on anything.” You might get some “brownie points” for being honest that you’re stoned. You might also get written up and have to have a nice little chat with the dean.
1. “My water broke. I think I’m going into labor.” This excuse takes some serious dedication. Unless you’ve been hiding a beach ball under your shirt all semester, it’s not really something you can throw out there on a whim.
