To the friend who I love and have never admitted it,
They say that love does not break you, but that it sets you free. In some ways, loving you has set me free by showing me how to care so deeply about someone else. It has showed me how much one person can care for another. But in some ways, it doesn’t set you free. I haven’t told you how I feel, I can’t tell you. It’s truly like being stuck and feel like you can’t move without making a wrong choice. If I don’t tell you, you’ll never know and I will never know if you have the chance to feel the same. If I tell you, everything can change. What if I didn’t have you in my life? It always sucks losing a close friend, but how do you lose someone you love so deeply?
I am always the one there at the early hours of the morning when something hurts you, when you are upset or simply when you need a friend. But, I have never been the one chosen. “It’s you, it’s always been you,” are the words that I would love to hear you say, but they are only the words that I hear in my dreams or when I’m laying down in bed at night. It seems like such a perfect fit, and to the other people who I tell they say I am crazy for holding back how I feel. But, how do I turn your world upside down? I have never known to do anything only for myself, and what if telling you only hurts our friendship?
It will always be you, and this I know. Even the times I see you for ten minutes is enough to make me happy for ten days, and for that I can only thank you. I know I may not be what you want, but I know that I would be the person to treat you like no other. Except, that chance is not mine. You look back on our memories and laugh, but I replay each one in my head and can remember the smile on your face and the look in your eyes. Do you notice it, too? How could you not…
You know me like the back of your hand, and you can gauge my reactions to situations before I even react. So, how could you not know? I see so much value in you, and all I want you to do is see it in yourself. I hope one day I will have the courage to tell you how I feel, and I know that if you don’t you will let me down gently. You are the dearest to me, and there is a piece of my heart that will never stop trying for you.
Always,
the friend that will never stop loving you.
