March Madness is well on its way. For the next week or so, the country will be gripped by the drama that is the NCAA Division 1 College Basketball Tournament. Brackets are being busted, even as we speak. Teams have already had their dreams dashed while some continue to hold onto their hopes of a national title. And then, there are the fans.
Whether or not you’re an active basketball fan or even a sports fan, there’s no escaping March Madness. It affects all of us, at least to some degree. Perhaps we’re not all March Madness fans, but we’re all March Madness participants. Which type are you?
15. The die hard fan of everything March Madness.
This guy doesn’t have a life outside March Madness. He merely exists until tournament time arrives every year. Even if it is a little obsessive, he’s a fun guy to watch games with because his enthusiasm is contagious.
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14. The one who probably needs to calm down a little.
This isn’t enthusiasm. This is unnecessary aggression and violence that occurs when stuff doesn’t go his way. Better back away from him when his team is losing. Back away slowly.
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13. The annoyed girlfriend.
She’s visibly annoyed at her boyfriend for making her come to the watch party or even to the game itself. It’s kind of a downer to watch her scowl every time her boyfriend has the nerve to get excited about a play.
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12. The girl who’s trying way too hard.
There’s nothing strange about a girl who likes sports, but there is something a little strange about a girl who’s desperately trying to show how much she loves sports because she wants to be a guy’s girl like Zooey Deschanel in New Girl or something.
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11. The girl who knows more bracketology than most guys.
She’s like an encyclopedia of sports knowledge. It’s impressive.
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10. The one who always roots for the underdog.
He just loves to see the big dogs go down. It’s pretty fun to watch sometimes, until he starts rooting against your team because he’s all about this year’s Cinderella story.
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9. The guy who screams at the TV during every game.
Whatever you do, don’t tell him, “It’s just a game,” because that’ll only make him rage more.
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8. The fan who has big money riding on this tournament.
People bet on the NCAA Tournament every year, so maybe this guy doesn’t necessarily have a gambling problem…unless you consider that he bet his entire life’s savings on this match-up and now he’s sweating profusely and hyperventilating while watching his team lose. Yeah, that might be a problem.
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7. The fan whose team didn’t get into the big dance.
He’s still bitter about it, even though he tries to put the snub behind him and just enjoy the tournament. Maybe next year, friend.
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6. The fan who isn’t a fan and wants everyone to know it.
Is there anything worse than that one jaded guy or girl at the watch party who just has to go on an on about how stupid basketball is? We get it, dude, you don’t care about March Madness. Why are you even here?
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5. The one who just filled out a bracket so they wouldn’t be left out.
Peer pressure.
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4. The bandwagon fan.
He’s never even heard of Gonzaga before, but if Gonzaga is doing well, you can bet he’s going to be the biggest Gonzaga fan who ever lived. (Substitute Gonzaga for whatever team is currently dominating.)
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3. The extremely vocal Duke fan.
It doesn’t matter who’s playing, they’re never going to be as good as Duke. It doesn’t matter what you’re talking about, all this guy’s going to do is interject about Duke. You might as well invite Dick Vitale to your watch party.
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2. The guy who’s just at the watch party to get his drink on.
Ain’t nothing wrong with that, as long as he brings some alcohol to share and doesn’t just drink everybody else’s.
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1. The one who gets drunk and passes out at every game.
Come on, dude. Rally.
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