I never said I was a nice person, but at least I’m not a total gremlin. These are just my daily thoughts on the way to class and I’m pretty sure most of you are thinking along the same lines. I would never say any of these things out loud…well not sober, at least.
1. Where is the bus? Like aren’t you supposed to be waiting for me?
2. Finally! Like you’re the bus driver, it’s not like your job is that hard.
3. Seriously? Your backpack is that precious that it needs its own seat?
4. Could you like stop popping your gum? *starts popping my own gum*
5. I see you eating those pop tarts cold, and yes I am judging you.
6. Can we like hurry this ride up? I know this hunk of junk can hit 45 mph.
7. Did I forget my coffee again? Oh well. Starbucks time!
8. OK, you can stop the bus now. Like now. (in Jessie’s voice from Breaking Bad)
9. Great. Now I am going to have to walk like 20 extra steps.
10. ow the walking part. Dear God, please don’t let me sweat any.
11. OK, person in front of me, you can speed it up a little.
12. This girl is honestly going to make me pass her.
13. Like it is too early for cardio. I’m not playing games here
14. Well here it goes. Push it! Don’t breath heavy when you pass her. Stay cool.
15. I’m doing it! I’m really doing it! I am amazing!
16. Oh she’s on her phone? I feel that.
17. Man, some people take their walking game so serious
18. Woah! Watch it! There is a bike lane for a reason!
19. He is going really fast!
20. Can I have a ride?
21. It is hot as balls out here. Like I cant even.
22. Temperature you are at a 10 and I need you at like a 2.
23. OMG! I feel a drop of sweat on my chin. Ewww!
24. I have to fart. Like really bad.
25. Please don’t fart. Please don’t fart. Please don’t fart.
26. Oh yes thank you sweet baby Jesus, it passed.
27. That could have gone real bad.
28. Am I there yet?
29. I have 3 minutes to get a seat in class. Better pick up the pace.
30. Ew. I hate this song.
31. I’m thirsty.
32. Rain boots and booty shorts? Joan Rivers is probably rolling over in her grave.
33. Your ponytail is like obnoxiously high. Like reevaluate your life situation right now.
34. Finally, I’m here.
35. MAKE WAY PEASANTS! YOUR QUEEN IS HERE
36. He better hold this door open. I swear if he doesn’t…