Written By: Nicolette Piccininni
We’re girls. We’re basically born to over analyze every situation, and being opinionated comes naturally to us. An certain event happens, and our thoughts run wild. We walk away from a situation thinking about all of the things we could’ve said, but didn’t. Months later, we think of the greatest comeback, or dramatic exit line we should have blurted out in that one moment. Some words are just really difficult to get out in the open without feeling uncomfortable. And there are times when it physically hurts to hold in comments.
Here are a few phrases that The Hills just gets.
“You took 37 minutes to answer my text? Fine, I won’t answer for 49 minutes. Take that!!!”
Every one of us do it. We literally think of every ridiculous scenario that he could be involved in, instead of texting us back. We’re prone to have a panic attack in between every text we send. We turn our phone over because he’s taking so long to answer, while peeking it at every 3 minutes. But then as soon as he texts back, we think it’s cute to wait twenty minutes, two hours, or a whole day before answering. It doesn’t mean we’re not interested, it more than likely means we are. Stupid? 100%. But it works.
“Please stop doing that. No, please, really, I’m begging you.”
There are a variety of things that come to mind when re-reading that phrase. Maybe it’s something in the bedroom? You’re probably pretending to like it, and there is nothing right about it. Is it the weird/creepy dirty talk? If they’re good at it, it works. If they’re not, it’s cringe worthy. Or maybe it’s when you open your eyes and realize you’re in an unfamiliar room with an even more unfamiliar arm around your waist? You are not his wife. He is lucky if you remember his name. Whichever one he is, it could be time you tell that lucky son of a b*tch what the deal is. Think about how much more enjoyable it would be if you knew exactly what each other wanted.
“Please don’t tell me you are actually wearing sweatpants and Nike Air Maxes to the bar…”
Your boyfriend, consecutive hook up, or guy you went home with two nights ago walks into the bar wearing the most god-awful thing you’ve ever laid eyes on. You are dying to know who let him bought buy that, because he needs to drop that person immediately, and so do you. No one is begging him to dress head to toe like Justin Bieber, or rock the Canadian suit that everyone seems so fond over recently, although it wouldn’t hurt. Ever heard of the term steeze? Look it up. Style is a significant factor when it comes to attraction. If a guy can put himself together, they definitely earn major bonus points.
“Just because we slept together doesn’t mean I’m trying to date you.”
This. When a guy says, “I’m not really looking for anything serious.” I just think “Aw that’s so cute, you actually thought I wanted to date you?” I am sure there are girls out there that will probably build a shrine of you on their ceiling after you have sex one time, but I have yet to meet one of them. I don’t get it, do all of you sit around and watch romantic comedies and relate all of those scenarios to your life? Did I miss something? Was there a point through out this whole thing, that I was just like “you know this is going so great, we should definitely start a family?” No one asked you to get down on one knee. Maybe, I’m using you. Ever think of that? After all, sex is just sex, right Whit?
“Just tell me what you want, and ask me what I want.”
There comes a time when there is a little bit of an awkward standstill in a relationship, friendship, or conversation about picking an appetizer. Maybe you’re ready to be more than just a hook up to that one guy, maybe your best guy friend has been sending you missed signals, or maybe your guy keeps ordering the bang bang shrimp, when all you want is the damn spinach dip. Communication is key, especially in a relationship, and holding in what you want from someone that you spend most of your time with, will probably end up hurting you more than them. Tell them what you want, and ask them to do the same. You are preaching to the choir, LC.
“OK, like, I want to kiss you and I think you want to kiss me too, SO WHY DON’T YOU JUST KISS ME???”
Obviously there is a time and place for this, people. I’m not saying he needs to stick his tongue down your throat at Olive Garden. Honestly, if he’s taking you to Olive Garden, you have more serious things to discuss (refer to above thought for pointers on how to approach that one). Maybe he’s waiting for the “perfect moment,” or “a signal.” I know I’m not the only girl who has been waiting on a guy to make the move, thinking “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, can we just do this thing already?” Boys, you don’t need a letter of recommendation. If she’s into you, you’ll know. So just stop talking and go for it.
“Fine! I can ignore the sh*t out of you, too.”
When you hook up with a guy, you see him out, and he puts you on full and complete ignore. You honestly could have been standing on the bar, singing Pretty Ricky’s “Grind On Me,” with no pants on and he still wouldn’t look your way (hopefully it hasn’t come to that.) Now he’s started a battle that you will not let him win. It is all part of the method to madness. We play hard to get because guys are all so predictable. Once we act like we’re not interested, they suddenly are. As much as we act like we don’t care, we do. We will talk to any guy (give or take) in a ten-foot radius, just to piss them off.
We all know what we want for ourselves, and sometimes it’s really hard to read other people. Instead of laying awake at night or dramatically pondering out your window to Sam Smith (you know who you are) about what you could have said, do something about it. If you’re acting out scenarios about telling the guy how you feel in the mirror (you can’t make this sh*t up), practice it, perfect it, and go tell the idiot.
Needless to say, a lot of these phrases may be extra dramatic, but holding back what you’re feeling gets you absolutely nowhere. Speak up. Order the damn spinach dip.
Feature Image By Fanpop
