To My Eating Disorder:
You have tarnished me and ripped me to pieces. You have allowed my body to whittle away to nothing. You have given my eyes a distorted reflection. While I wanted to believe that my body was at a good size, you have repeatedly shot up to my face and told me that it was not up to your standards. The scale kept on descending. The doctors kept on pleading with me to gain a couple pounds. I refused. All because every time I looked at my reflection, I found little pieces of baby fat here and there. According to my friends and family, this fleshy fat I talked about was invisible. But, I saw it, and every time, it bothered me more and more. I thought, I don’t have an eating disorder. That is bogus. Well, I have finally realized that you exist, and listen eating disorder. It is finally the time I get out of the denial I have been in for a very long time. You exist and you have become embedded in my mind and body. It is time I come to terms with you and throw you out of my life as quickly as you threw the horrid thoughts about myself into my brain.
I am not sure why you originated. I have always been so against eating disorders and for having a proper body image. However, I feel like that was a defense mechanism, so I would not have to face the fact that you were a demon glued to my spirits. You have transformed me into this vain girl who had a passion for two things: not gaining a dreadful ounce, or losing one. It is rather sad that every morning my moods for the day would be determined by the number glowing on a machine. I just don’t understand why you bow and arrowed me, plaguing my mind with only self-defeating thoughts. Some people’s biggest fear is heights. Mine was gaining weight. You have made a pound feel like the worst thing in the world. You are nothing but a destructive concept that played games with my mind.
