According to our friends over at CollegeTimes.com , these are some awkward moments you don’t want to experience while having sex:
What do you do? This is a tricky situation as you never want to let the girl that you’re with that you’re pooping in the bathroom – nothing will kill the mood more. So what most guys opt for is to try the tactical poo, which can take no longer than 2 minutes – that way you can pretend that you just went for a really long wee! Turn on all the taps, plant your ass on the toilet seat and blast out your tactical poo as silently as you can. Don’t forget to flush and wipe!
I’m not talking about a week or two, I’m talking about a really long time! It’s like the Forbidden Forrest down there. You’ve got to rustle through the debris and jungle canopy to wrestle out the one-eyed monster. Nobody wants to see that much hair, on a guy or a girl. *Shudder*
The queef can jump out of the woodwork at any given moment and it’s always an unprecedented and unwelcome surprise. Usually my train of thought goes something like this: “That was a pretty loud queef – what do I do? … Was it too loud to ignore? … Oh God, don’t make eye contact with her! … Can I try and laugh it off to make her feel less awkward about it? … GREAT, now all I can think about is passing wind and farts!”
There’s nothing worse than when you’re going full throttle, pounding out the missionary position when suddenly your hamstring begins to quiver. You can’t go in and you can’t go out any longer. You desperately try and shake off the cramp, or raise your leg high into the air like an Olympic gymnast, but it’s to no avail. You’re going to have to pull out soldier, and do a few stretches on the sideline!
There’s simply no stopping this. When you have to go, you have to go! But telling the person mid-act that you need to take a whiz is a serious mood killer. You just have to bite the bullet.
After a night of drinking you get home and start getting risqué. Before long, some of the copious amount of alcohol you’ve been drinking comes bubbling to the surface and BARF! You or her, it’s equally bad, and it’s usually a sign for the night to end there. Please don’t continue on after this. Neither of you will enjoy it if you do.
Ohhh Lord. It happens more frequently than you think. When you’re in the moment, we understand that a lot of the blood leaves your brain and relocates down south, but you really should have the brainpower to at least say the right name of the girl that you’re with.
Things are going well and your self-confidence is rising. You’re still a bit drunk and have that false sense of security and confidence. One slip or wrong move and it could all go tits up, both literally and metaphorically! You feel like you’re a pornstar and try to chance your arm with an outlandish move or try slip it in the back door. She’ll roll over and give you the freaked-out eyes, and that’ll be the end of that nightmare.
There’s nothing worse. It must be so frustrating for girls when they build something up for so long and the guy they’re with takes off before the gunshot at the start of the race. It’s embarrassing for guys and downright frustrating for girls. But at least the guy gets something out of it, and the girl is left with nothing. It seems an unfair world for girls at times…
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