Moscato– You’re a girl who looooves wine. You decided to take on the “fruit diet” and your first question was, “Wine counts as a fruit, right??”
Admiral Nelson Rum– Chances are you’re broke, in college, and your only goal for the night is to get drunk, or one of your goals at least. Mix it with some coke or drink it straight, admiral is always a good choice.
White Zinfandel– You’re the best of the best. (Kidding, I just really love White Zinfandel.) On a more serious note, you love this wine because it loves you back. White Zin is your go to drink before a night out. Drink it from the bottle or a Franzia bag, it never disappoints.
Beer– Calm, cool, collected, and you’re either already wasted or you have a 9:30a.m. class… or you simply love beer, I don’t know your life.
Tequila– Cut up the limes, and get the salt! CAUTION: Tequila makes your clothes fall off orrrr you’ll spend the better half of your night crying… in a bathroom… at a party… on your birthday. Sadly, this will never be forgotten because one of your friends decided to nickname it, “Tequila Night.” I would say the choice is yours when it comes to what happens to you when you drink tequila, but you really have no control over that one.
Boxed wine– You’re trying to maximize your chances of blacking out with a good tasting beverage. When you break out the boxed wine at a party or pre-game, the first thing you’ll hear is someone say, “Let’s slap the bag!!!” If you’re really lucky (like we were), you’ll convince a freshman boy to hold the bag every time you or your friends decide to chug.
Fireball– For starters, you’ll probably hate yourself tomorrow morning. A wise man (Harvey Dent) once said, “You either blackout a hero or you drink long enough to see yourself become the villain.” Harvey Dent was right. It’s all fun and games until you almost get arrested.
Jägermeister– You’re fun, and witty… or someone probably asked you what you guys should take shots of next and that’s the first thing you could think of. Either works.
Vodka soda/ Vodka & Sprite/ Vodka & Lemonade etc.– As Sammy Adams said, “White girls drink vodka soda.” I wish I could say this isn’t true, but sadly the stereotype fits. You honestly love vodka mixed with anything whether it’s sprite, lemonade, club soda, or cranberry juice. You’re a basic bitch, who loves Michael Kors, and posting Instagram pictures captioned, “Love my twinny” even though you and whoever you’re with look nothing alike.
Some say you are what you eat, we say you are what you drink.
