What makes one gay? Why do people view people who are attracted to members of the same sex as inherently wrong or evil. It was believed for a long time 23 percent of Americans, or almost one in four, are gays or lesbians. A recent survey soon revealed that was way off… it was recently found that less than 4 percent of the American population identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. It’s a staggering truth that members of the LGBT community are a minority in this country, and subsequently are treated as second class citizens in the classrooms as well as in the comfort of their own homes.
You would think with the recent legalizing of same sex marriage in June of last year that people would be more accepting than ever… but sadly there is still hate in this country. Every day people are bullied, and sometimes even targeted due to their sexual orientation.
I for one am a member of the LGBT community. I live in a small town of 700 people. All are god-fearing farmers who go to church every Sunday and drive pick-up trucks. Yes, some of them are decent people, but a majority showed their true colors the year following the passing of same sex marriage. That was the year I came out to my family and close friends. I was on top of the world. I was starting my Senior year of high school, and was ready to start my new life in college far away from the corn fields of my small town. I expected people to treat me no different than before after I came out, but boy was I wrong.
My first day back at school I was threatened twice, and had spit balls hurled at me. This wasn’t exactly the welcome I was expecting. The bullying only got worse. It didn’t help two of my favorite teachers who were always there for me retired the year before. I felt as if I was suffocating. I turned to ways to release my inner anger. They would use bible quotes as ways to attack me. It got to the point were I stood in front of my bathroom mirror with razors to my wrists crying out to god asking him to love me for who I was… I soon entered a deep depression, and cut myself off from normal society. My close friends were still there for me, and tried to help me along the way, but they would never understand me I felt. I will always be the outcast. I tried to make up ways I would be accepted. Thinking that if I lost a few pounds they wouldn’t care I was gay. If I cut my hair a certain way they wouldn’t hate me as much. I was taking Garcinia Cambodia (A weight control supplement) up to eight times a day at one point to try and lose weight.
What was becoming of me. What once was an eccentric colorful person, was now a shell of who I once was. I would cry up to two hours a day, people thought I was just complaining, or I was making things up for attention. It hurt so bad that I thought of taking my life. Luckily it didn’t get that far. I was stopped and started seeing a licensed therapist from that point forward to help with my “problems”. Soon it was fall, and that meant Homecoming Week. The theme was decades, so I dressed up a Marilyn Monroe. Yes I’m a guy, but I thought it would be fun. Everyone did fun and crazy costumes for the dress up days of Homecoming week, so I thought why not.
By the end of the day I had my wig snatched off of my head, and had been called numerous derogatory things. I went to the office, but they said they could do nothing about it. I changed back into normal clothes, and cried the rest of the day.
At the end of Homecoming Week was a dance, it being my senior year I wanted to bring a guy I was talking to at the time. I asked for the date request form, but was denied because they didn’t want us to upset other students.
How would me bringing the person I was romantically interested in to a dance upset the people around me? How does me having feelings for another human make everyone upset? I didn’t go to homecoming that year. If I couldn’t bring my date. The taunting soon stopped after they got no more joys from it. I had grown blind and deaf to the harassment that surrounded me. They would shout, “FAGGOT” at me down the halls, but I wouldn’t even turn. I thought about fighting back, but that would only give them more reason to harass me. Later that day I went to the local supermarket the next town over only to have a beer can thrown at me from a moving truck… Luckily it was empty. This was the final straw, and I soon came to terms with my sexual orientation after this moment. If people don’t like me, that’s their loss.
That nasty old beer can stood as a symbol for me. Though I had many attackers in all shapes and sizes it is up to me to stand up for myself, and do what is right. After this I soon told my friends of the attacks they helped take care of oppressors with me, and helped me in so many other ways, that I couldn’t thank them enough. Now that I’m well into my second semester of my senior year, and ready to become a college student. I can see the silver lining far from the hick town I live in. I am bringing a date to the prom of the same-sex, I don’t care if I have to sue the school to get what I want, and no one can rain on my parade. It’s my life, and I’m going to live it.
My new college (Eastern Illinois University) has a active GSA already available, in addition to that it is an extremely diverse campus so I’m sure I won’t be alone. I can’t wait to be far away and in my own dorm. I already found my roommate as well, and he is completely okay with the fact I’m gay. I can’t wait to start my new life, and see what’s ahead for me… Homophobia still exists in this country, and it is up to us as a society to better the knowledge we have of those different than us, and accept them. For the only way to achieve true peace and love is to accept each other…
