Just this past weekend was my college’s time for parents’ weekend, and I saw a large variety of mom and dads roaming campus and even the bars…here’s a few that come to mind.
-The All Out Parents
These are the parents that roll in with the flags flying on their car, every possible article of clothing sporting your school’s logo, the prime tailgate spot, and burgers already flying by noon. They will scream and yell at the game, very obnoxiously. They most likely know all the cheers and chants as well as the players’ and the coaches’ names and stats. They might be alumni, they might just be really invested in your life. Either way, they’re die hard fans for your school and you.
-The I’m Cool Parents
These are the parents that want to be taken to all the fraternity tailgates and challenge you on funneling beer. They get drunk with you and end up doing really weird things. They think that they’re milfs or dilfs and they have no problem flaunting it. They may not make it through the entire game, but they’ll definitely go out with you after and get wasted some more. As a personal example, I watched two moms kiss this weekend at one of the bars that kids frequent after games as their sons’ friends cheered them on and took pictures….wow.
-The Clueless Parents
These are the parents that you do NOT take near the fraternities or any other tailgate with alcohol. You take them to the pre-set up tailgate festivities where a majority of parents are, and you do not mention anything regarding to partying when showing them around. During the game they’ll most likely sit and smile while throwing in some small cheers when everyone else does. They don’t know what you do at college when you’re not studying and they don’t know how rowdy you usually are at games. Most likely, you’d like to keep it that way.
-The No Show Parents
Obviously these are the parents who do not come. They text you their excuses which usually have to do with some other sibling’s needs or just plain laziness. They apologize, but hey you knew they weren’t coming anyway. Without them there you can feel free to tailgate to your heart’s desire and get wild at the game without any fear of consequence. You’ll miss them, but you’ll see them soon. It all works out.
-The Normal Parents
These are what I consider my parents. They let you sleep at their hotel to escape your dorm. They come supplied with reinforcements for your fridge and food drawer as well as anything else you forgot. They come looking like fans but not like crazy, and they get in to the game just enough for you to be proud. Afterwards they usually take you out to a nice real meal and then let you do whatever you please, they just ask that you spend some time with them while they’re there. These are the easy parents, and god do I love mine.
Awkward girl living an awkward life, entertaining the masses with my awkward situations. #hiimawkward
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