First, I’d like to start with thank you to everyone who read, liked and shared my last article. I found a lot of people were apologizing and feeling sorry that I felt the way I did, and as truly grateful as I am for those people, that’s not at all what the article was about. Yes, at the time I wrote it, I was extremely hurt and miserable. Maybe this one will help all who read the first one understand a bit more. Thank you.
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I sit here 9 months, 1 week, and 6 days from when we broke up. I look at myself, at where I am now, at how I perceive myself, at how I perceive others. I look back to the day you took my heart into your hands and shattered it into a million pieces. Unlike my previous article, I’m not here to shit talk you, or tell you how much of a complete asshole awful person you are. Believe it or not, I’m actually here to thank you.
Thank you for teaching me that I don’t need someone in my life that’s going to drag me down. For teaching me that someone who has a great impact on my life shouldn’t be impacting it negatively.
Thank you for making me realize that I am everything I need to be without you. For making me realize that I am special, and important, and worthy. I deserve the best.
Thank you for teaching me how and how not to treat someone you love. For teaching me that loving someone involves respect, and equality.
Thank you for showing me that you are not the person for me, and that’s okay. There are so many other people that can show me the world without making me feel anything less than what I am. That person just isn’t you.
Thank you for making me love who I am, because I’m good enough. For making me understand that I shouldn’t have to change for anyone. The person I’m with will accept me and everything that comes with me.
Thank you for teaching me that I don’t have to be uncomfortable to be myself. For teaching me that I don’t have to hide my goofy side, or my competitive side, or my sassy side, because someone who accepts me will love every side, and encourage me to show them all.
Thank you for supporting my crying habits, because now I know when someone is worth crying over. I now know when my tears are worth shedding and when it’s time to turn the other cheek.
Thank you for helping me open my eyes to realize all these things that I couldn’t figure out without you. You made it easy for me to realize all the amazing things, people, and places in my life just by breaking my heart.
I truly don’t think I’d have the mindset I do today without you.
So, thank you.
I think at one point or another, we have all thought about abandoning our stressful lives and retiring to a European Villa. We imagine waking up every morning in the cultural hub that is Paris France, soaking in the fashion and fantastic food as we walk down the street, inevitably turning heads as we go since it’s our imagination and we can do whatever we want.
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Or maybe we think about travelling the English countryside. We could sit on a cliff overlooking the moors and ponder the question of our existence. Of course we would be interrupted by a dashing gentleman on horseback, but we wouldn’t mind really.
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We could go biking in Copenhagen, wine tasting in Italy, we could hike the Swiss alps, go sightseeing for windmills in Holland or hunting for trolls in Norway. We imagine a world of endless possibilities and the joy we would feel at experiencing them firsthand.
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Then our boss walks by and slaps a big pile of documents on our desk. Daydream over. As much as we’d all love to travel, or even settle down somewhere new, reality beckons and we are trapped in its grip.
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You see, most of us don’t have the money to run away to a foreign country for a few months let alone a lifetime. Even if you planned on working there, the preparations alone may kill you before you ever arrive.
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Finding a job, a home, checking your passport, getting a work visa, proving you’re not a terrorist, it all seems like so much effort when your daydreams make it seem so easy. Especially when you begin to think about how difficult it is to find good real estate.
In this day and age you’re not likely to see a wax figure outside of a history museum, except for the occasional uncanny valley versions that people sometimes make of celebrities. In the modern era, wax figures are considered odd, kitschy, and creepy.
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With their glassy eyes and mushy looking skin, the manmade effigies have given many a child a nightmare. Although today we use them either to learn about our past or worship celebrities of the present, they were originally created to- well actually they were pretty much always used for that.
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Wax figures can be traced all the way back to the middle ages when they were sometimes used as offerings to the churches. The figures were meant to preserve the memory and visage of monarchs and other great parsonages through a wax mask. Much like the entire plot of Night at the Museum.
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However, even back then the general populace found the dead-eyed stare of wax figures to be somewhat unsettling, and superstitious beliefs soon began to circle them. In fact, wax figures were used as a sort of early voodoo doll and were sometimes made in the image of enemies.
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When the enemy wax figure was complete, people would stick long pins through them, an act that was thought to be even more effective if the wax figure was made with some of the actual person, such as their hair or fingernails.
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This was not overly strange behavior for the time period, and similar practices were discovered in the Scottish Highlands. They used clay instead, but implemented the same method of making the figure in the likeness of their enemy. The Scotts would then place the figure in the river and allow it to be carried away, believing that as the clay figure washed away, so to would the health of the enemy.
Cheating is the worst way to end a relationship, even worse than a bad fight or being ignored by someone. It’s painful for both parties, even though the cheater in the relationship doesn’t really have any room to talk. The unfortunate truth of the matter is that cheating happens frequently, both in established marriages and casual relationships.
The Blue Diamond Gallery
People come up with all kinds of reasons as to why they cheat, but none are valid. Sandra Bullock’s ex-husband Jesse James admitted to cheating and tried to justify his actions saying “In general, both women and men cheat… It’s part of life.” I think that’s simply wrong and just reflects a poor attitude about relationships. It’s a mindful choice that someone makes, and leads to consequences he has to live with.
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But if people have this attitude towards cheating, believing that it’s a natural part of life, how often does it happen? Exact numbers are difficult to pinpoint since there’s not a real database of cases of infidelity. Even then, you’d still have to account for cheating that occurs in unmarried relationships. Experts, however, estimate that about 25% of all men and 14% of all women will cheat on a relationship at least once in his or her lifetime.
Mark Manson
These are just samples taken from studies, not accounting for homosexual relationships. Also, if someone’s willing to lie to their partner about cheating, why wouldn’t she also lie to the researcher who’s interviewing her about it? Still, though, 25% is a lot, and this gap between men and women in terms of likeliness to cheat is shrinking.
Understanding Relationships
Some studies even suggest that some women have genes that predispose them to want to act unfaithful towards their partners. “The gender gap in adultery is closing, and it’s not just about opportunity and possibility,” says renowned relationship book author Helen Fisher, PhD. “But it is about choice. Women now are more aware of the alternatives to monogamy and more inclined to demand to have all their needs met.”
Dream Dictionary Now!
We’ll look more at how the gender gap is closing in terms of unfaithful relationships on the next page.
