8)
My roommate was this geeky 400 pound guy who watched Sailor Moon in the original Japanese. He had a tiny redheaded girlfriend who regularly beat the shit out of him in daily life, and he let her. On like 6pm on a Thursday, he suddenly asks me if I can vacate the dorm room until 11, as they’re going to have some romantic time. I was a little pissed he gave me no warning, but left anyways. Get back at midnight and walk into a scene of her in black vinyl bondage gear with a riding crop and a taxi driver’s hat, riding him, with him covered in welts from head to toe. Noped the hell right out of there.
7)
My roommate was a born again christian who did not allow alcohol or women in the room. If he saw alcohol he would go to the floor manager and demand a room check since we were not allowed on campus. The floor manager would come in and ask “do you have alcohol” and I would reply “no”. The floor manager would try to leave and the roommate would burst in from the hallway and say “yes, he does!!!” but would not find it. I hid it in his closet every time. He never figured that part out.
Literally the same process would happen with women in the dorm after 11pm. Same two act play, same hiding place.
He would always scream about the women when they came in. “My momma didn’t raise me to shack up with no woman,” was his favorite phrase.
I asked more and more women to come in and stay until exactly 10:59:59pm every night. Eventually he dropped out of college from the stress.
I guess I am the monster.
