5. Deadpool VS Spawn
Spawn is the longest running independent comic book series of all time, and for good reason. I can’t help but notice that he has quite a bit in common with the merc with a mouth. Why do we want to see these two fight? Like I said, they are pretty similar. Both are mercenaries, both have healing factors, and both of them have a dirty mouth.
My Prediction:
The fight would begin with the two of them spraying bullets back and forth at one another, and not missing either. The only problem is that both of them would essentially heal their wounds immediately. This would go on for another few hours before the two moved in for close combat. Severed limbs would fall to the floor, and then grow back or re attach themselves. Holes would be poked through chests and stomaches, only to be sealed right back up. As the two begin to tire, Deadpool would pull two chimichangas out of his pocket, offer one to Spawn, and the two would sit together eating chimichangas and discussing the joys of getting paid to kill people.
4. Taylor Swift VS Her Ex Boyfriend
Taylor Swift has become the queen of pop music, and it all started with a bunch of breakup songs. Why do we want to see these two fight? Taylor Swift really needs to unload.
My Prediction:
I imagine the two would step into the ring and gear up for an amazing fight to the death. At this time, Kanye West would also step into the ring, and take the mic away from the referee and say, “I am sorry Taylor, Ima let you finish. But Beyonce and Jay-Z had the greatest fight of the past year, period.” Kanye wins this fight.
3. Aqua Teen Hunger Force VS Scooby Doo’s Gang
When it comes to solving mysteries you couldn’t get more opposite than these two crime fighting teams. On one hand we have a group of foul mouthed sentient foods, and on the other are the squeaky clean Scooby Doo gang. Why do we want to see them fight? It is the battle of old and new, the mystery solvers we loved when we were young vs their adult counterparts
My prediction:
Scooby Doo and Shaggy would chicken out before the fight even begins, leaving an even 3 on 3 match. Freddie, Velma, and Daphne would approach ATHF and Freddie would lean in to “unmask the criminals.” Unbeknownst to Freddie, these are not masks he is dealing with. He would grab Meatwad by the head, and rip the upper portion of his head/body off. This would spook Velma, causing her to pass out. It also spooks Frylock, who fires lasers into Freddie, causing him to explode. Carl then walks into the picture, and begins hitting on Daphne. “Hey there ya sexy broad, have you ever slept with a man who has more hair on his back then his head?!” Daphne barfs, and also passes out, leaving ATHF victorious.
2. Donald Trump VS Mexico
This fight may actually play out if any of you are crazy enough to vote for this man. Why do we want to see them fight? I don’t know that we necessarily do, but if it happens, I hope Donald Trump gets hurt.
My prediction:
Donald Trump would begin the fight with his favorite attack of all…racial slurs. As he unleashes an onslaught of racist jokes, metaphors, and name calling, all cameras focus on him feeding him the power he needs to continue. His power will grow stronger and stronger as he gains more media attention until finally…at the 11th hour, something amazing would happen. America and all of its eligible voters begin to see the monster that stands before him for what he truly is…an ignorant bigot, who is unfit to run a country. With this the voters team up to give Donald Trump a big “get the fuck out of our country!” With the Trump boycott in full effect, the monster has no choice but to fade back into the deep dark cable TV cave that he came from, never to be seen again.
1. Nicktoons VS Cartoon Network
I may be biased, but some of the greatest cartoons to have ever existed came from Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network in the 90’s. The content may have changed since their hay day, but the two cartoon giants are still on top of their game. One can’t help but wonder what a fight between the biggest characters from the two channels might look like…I mean, you have Invader Zim, the Powerpuff Girls, Danny Phantom, Samurai Jack, Aang, Finn, and too many more to even try to name? Why do we want to see them fight? That’s a stupid question.My prediction:
Two armies of cartoons step up to the plate, ready to rip each others 2D faces off. Some of the more cowardly participants such as Chuckie and Double D hide in the back, praying one of their friends doesn’t push them to the front of the hoarde. You can see the sweat bead down Spongebob’s face as he stands, patiently waiting for the bloodshed to begin. Ms. Sara Bellum steps up to ring the bell, signaling the fight to begin, when Aku steps forth and rips open a portal. With a wave of his hand he cast’s both networks into a land where all TV channels and characters reflect the glory of Aku.
