Dear Daughter,
It seems like every time you go on Instagram, there is always some post with two women hugging each other, making silly faces, attempting a fandid – take your pick – with some caption like ‘Love spending time with my MOMMY! She’s my best friend forever, love you so much Mom xoxoxo :)))))’. It is enough to make you roll your eyes so hard that they are in danger of popping out of your head.
It’s not that you blame these girls, or wish they would stop – on some levels, you’re a little jealous. You wish that you had that sort of relationship with your Mom, sometimes. Having wine nights and doing manicures with the woman who raised you seems like a grand time. However, when it comes to your Mom, she would lose her mind at the idea of you mentioning an alcoholic beverage in her presence.
In the social media society we live in today, it is all too easy to be caught up in the idea that you MUST have this attached-at-the-hip friendship with your Mother, and the fact that you don’t have one makes it seem like the relationship you have will never match up to the ones you double tap online.
However, there is one very important thing to keep in mind: there is nothing wrong with your Mom being your Mom, and not your best friend. It doesn’t mean you don’t love her enough. It doesn’t mean that other mother-daughter relationships are superior. It certainly does not mean your Mother loves you less than the Instagram Moms love their daughters.
Maybe she’s stricter. Maybe she’s busier. Maybe she’s more stressed out. Maybe she is just as worried about your relationship as you are, because Moms have Instagrams, too. But there is no wrong way to love someone.
Embrace the uniqueness of your relationship with your Mother. When you hug her, squeeze a little tighter. Let her know that she doesn’t have to jump through hoops and take a certain number of selfies in order to be an acceptable Mom.
But hey, when the moment is right, a selfie or two certainly wouldn’t kill anyone. When you look back on these pictures, years from now, you aren’t going to look at the number of likes on the picture – you are going to be looking at the picture, thankful for your one-of-a-kind relationship with a one-of-a-kind person.
