College Graduate Reveals Insane College Story That Will Leave You Speechless

What hap­pened to you in col­lege? How was your col­lege expe­ri­ence? Well, for some peo­ple it is amaz­ing, but for other peo­ple, it is the worst time of your life. Col­lege stu­dents have fun for many dif­fer­ent rea­sons. They score high on exams, party hard, have many friends, and have fun with the oppo­site sex(sometimes.. it depends on the sit­u­a­tion). On the other hand, other col­lege stu­dents are stressed about exams, have no friends, don’t party, and don’t have sex. Well, find out what hap­pened to a col­lege stu­dent just like you when he tried to fit in with the wrong crowd.

Ben­jamin Har­risan was an intel­li­gent and friendly per­son grow­ing up. He excelled in school and got a let­ter for being a star at fenc­ing, yet there was one prob­lem.. he had no friends. It had been a big prob­lem his whole life, he didn’t know how to behave or act around peo­ple. He had high lev­els of anx­i­ety, and couldn’t even move his mouth nor his lips to talk. Har­risan even quotes, “School and fenc­ing have always been some­thing so easy for me, but mak­ing friends and really try­ing to fit in is extremely dif­fi­cult for me. It makes me extremely sad because I really want to fit in, I really want to have friends, but I can’t.” When Har­ri­gan grad­u­ated high school with­out any friends, he really looked foward to col­lege. He received a full fenc­ing schol­ar­ship and really wanted to expe­ri­ence col­lege life. He wanted to become a new per­son, a per­son that would really make him­self happy.

Ben­jamin loved his first few weeks of col­lege, espe­cially the fenc­ing part. He was intro­duced to a pop­u­lar fra­ter­nity in his mar­ket­ing class, the col­lege alpha male who intro­duced him went by the name of “Big Steve.” His real name though was Steven Johanssen. And what would the alpha male do? Well, he would do some­thing typ­i­cal, take advan­tage of Har­risan and make him the laugh­ing stock on cam­pus. Big Steve asked Ben­jamin, “Hey, Benny would you like to join my frat brotha?” Benny was speech­less, he had never been accepted in life before, his days of being alone now have ended.

On the night of haz­ing, Big Steve would really take advan­tage of Ben, giv­ing him order of what he had to do to be apart of the fra­ter­nity. “You are going to drive to the local stores to get us beer and boos. You are going to invite girls on cam­pus to all the fra­ter­nity par­ties. You are going to walk around cam­pus with a thong over your pants or shorts. You are going to drink piss out of the toi­lett and scream, “It tastes so yel­low, I love it.” The list went on and on, but it didn’t mat­ter to Har­risan, he was accepted and he had friends.

On the same night of haz­ing, a huge party was about to hap­pen, and it was the first time Ben was going to drink. “I can’t wait, I can’t wait,” Ben said. Lit­tle did he know that Big Steve and his crew of alpha males put lax­a­tives and pissed in his drink. Not only did they do that, but they also put in some stuff that would really knock him out. After Ben talked to some girls for the first time and actu­ally social­ized, he felt like he was in heaven. But, he wasn’t in heaven when he woke up the next morn­ing with his butt irri­tated and hurt­ing. “Ah, it hurts, my butt.” Benny had to skip class because it was hurt­ing so much, he went to the school med­ical care cen­ter, and met with the doc­tor. “Have you ever had prob­lems in that area before Ben? I am not really sure what the prob­lem is “, Dr. Liebowitz said.

Ben claimed it never hurt before. Dr. Liebowitz then went on to ask if he has had safe sex before and if he was straight. Ben replied with a very direct answer, “I am a vir­gin and I like women, I am not gay!” Liebowitz was so puz­zled and con­fused, and his ratio­nal and edu­cated guess was that if his butt was hurt­ing, it was hurt­ing for a spe­cific rea­son. Ben described the pain, and Liebowitz knew right away, that some­thing was stuck up hs butt. “Sci­en­tif­i­cally Ben­jamjin, there is def­i­nitely some­thing stuck up there, I just don’t know what it is. Let me get the nurse to check, it will be much more com­fort­able this way.” The nurse came out, with Har­risan turned over in the doggy posi­tion, and yanked out a huge con­dom straight out of his behind. “Ouch, ouch, ahhh, ahhh, Ben said.” Yeah that’s right, the alpha males and his frat shoved a huge con­dom up there, but they are his friends right? With Har­risan left emo­tion­ally abused and destroyed, will he ever be able to find friends? Bet­ter yet.. who is at fault here? Is it Ben’s fault for try­ing to act cool and fit in? Or is it Big Steve’s fault?

Please Com­ment Your Thoughts Below, We Would Love to Hear Your Voice.

View all articles by Jason Olephant

Ben­jamin Har­risan = next elliot rodgers

that’s a pain in the ass

I felt like this could be a really good story, but it sounds so chold­ish and fake.…