The one where you decide if you should text him
“Should I text him? I feel like I should text him.”
“Don’t text him!! You made me promise I wouldn’t let you text him!!”
“But I want to text him!”
“But you can’t!! I swear to God I will steal your phone…”
Three drinks later:
“You know what? Maybe you should just text him.”
“I already did.”
The one where you decide it’s time to bounce this party and get some late-night food
“You ready to leave?”
“Yeah, but let’s get pizza first.”
“Duh.”
The one where you talk about your families
“I’ll never be as pretty as my sister.”
“Are you kidding?! You are beautiful. You need to stop comparing yourself to her. You’re so, so pretty.”
“But my MOM never thought so!”
“F*ck your mom!!”
“Hey, don’t talk about my mom like that!!”
The one where you talk about your one friend
“I can’t find Jen!!!!”
“She was making out with that guy from earlier…”
“Ew, but he was so creepy. We have to save her!!”
“Yeah, OK, you go try to pull drunk Jenn away from a dude.”
“She needs to stop doing sh*t like this.”
“Yeah… let’s have a talk with her tomorrow.”
The one where you bring up that one insignificant thing that’s been bugging you all week
“When you texted me ‘k.’ on Thursday, were you mad at me?”
“What? I don’t even remember that.”
“No look at it!!! On Thursday January 7 at 2:11 pm, you just said ‘K.’”
“You know I was busy Thursday!! I had that big meeting!!”
“So you really weren’t mad??”
“No!! Why would I be mad?!? I LOVE YOU!!”
The one where you promise not to talk about boys…only to talk about boys for four hours
“Tonight is girls’ night — F*CK BOYS!”
“Yes, who needs a stupid boy when I have my best friends in the whole world?!”
Five shots later:
“…But I still love Cody!!!!!”
The one where you make some overly ambitious plans for tomorrow morning
“Set your alarm right now — SoulCycle at 7 am tomorrow!!”
“Yes!! We’ll sweat our hangovers away, and it will be awesome and worth it.”
The one where we decide to go into business
“You know who makes so much money? Strippers.”
“Yeah but you know who makes more money? People who OWN strip clubs.”
“Let’s OPEN A STRIP CLUB!!!”
“YES!!!! How are we just thinking of this now?!!!!?!?!!”
The one where you stop trying to play it cool about that guy she already knew you were in love with
“I have to tell you something.”
“What is it?!!?!”
“I think I’m in love with Matt…”
“HAH, DUH.”
