Written By: Ashlyn Sully
I work as a waitress. Last night I had a table of about 6 extremely drunk guys come in. Although they were not my table, every time I would walk by them to fill someone’s drink (They were sitting in a table right next to our pop machine) they would cat call me. I started out by ignoring it, why fuel the fire, right? However, when one of them blurted out that I am a “fine piece of ass”my patience was wearing thin. I turned around, smiled, and stated “Yeah, my boyfriend thinks so too.”
In all honesty, looking back I should have just remained silent like I had been doing. But hindsight is always 20/20. The guys then all started laughing and saying that they were just trying to “compliment me” and that I didn’t have to be “such a bitch about things” *This is when I started getting angry and probably should have walked away, but sometimes I have a smart mouth.*
I told the table of guys that if they wanted to compliment me they could tell me that I was pretty and then they could shut up. Not my finest moment as a server, but they were teenagers and I felt I was in the right. I walked away pleased with myself and continued to serve tables until someone else needed a refill. Great, back over to the pop machine by the incredibly drunk a**holes, I thought. As I was refilling the soda the boys were sitting there catcalling me again and talking to each other about me loud enough that I could hear them. I was mentally making note to not use this pop station for the rest of the night when I hear one of the boys say “There’s no way she has a boyfriend, and even if she does.. I’d still tap that.”
I turned around and flashed my phone screen at them which happens to have this picture of Ra’Montae and I as the screen saver.
The obnoxious kid that was way too drunk and way too underage says this: “Awh girl, why are you dating a n*gger? They ain’t gone treat you right” along with some other very profane choice of words. Once again, I had the opportunity to just walk away.. and I realize this now. However, I was heated. I told the guy he was racist and that I am not dating “one”. I told the guy he could shut up or I would go get my manager and they could leave.
Let me just get this straight though. I am not dating a N*gger. (My hands feel dirty for even just typing that word.) I am dating a man with the smoothest brown skin, and curly hair. I am dating a respectable, hardworking man that would do anything to make me smile at the end of the day. I am dating a man who helps me buy groceries, wash laundry, and even cleanmy apartment even though he has other things to do, works 40 hours a week, and it’s not his job. I am dating a man that holds doors open for me and everyone else behind him EVERY TIME. I am dating a man who has never been arrested, and doesn’t walk around acting like a fool. I am dating a humble man, someone who puts others before himself. I am dating a manwho loves motorcycles, and music. I am dating a man with a future. I am dating a man with a great sense of humor. I am dating a man who cuddles his puppy like a newborn baby. I am dating a man that will eat hot cheetos with me while binge watching netflix. I am dating a manwho tells me I look pretty in glasses and pajamas that I haven’t taken off for two days in a row. I am dating a man who loves to cook, and is sooooo good at it. I am dating a man that spoils me. I am dating a man who loves God. I am dating a man who loves me unconditionally.
Although this has not been common, it is not the first time people have said stuff like this to me for dating an African American as a white girl. Why do people care? Why make it a big deal? Why even bring race into the picture? Why not just leave it as I am dating the man mentioned above without any indicators as to what race he or myself is? Wake up people, it is almost 2015. Why are we not seeing people like God sees them? We are all human, no matter what you hair, skin, or eye color is.. we all bleed red. I cannot stand the ignorance of some people in this world.
I could make a thousand posts over this subject, but I’ll leave it at this for now. Quit judging people based on skin color, judge people based on actions. End of story.
*To clear confusion: No, I did not serve the teens alcohol. They came in drunk.
