13. TLC (The Learning Channel)
“People with a lot of kids and obese women who exploit their daughters for money!”
TLC, despite being called “The Learning Channel” is known for shows such as Toddlers & Tiara’s, Sister Wives, and 19 Kids and Counting. I am no teacher myself, but the only thing I have ever learned watching this channel is how little faith I have in the human race.
12. TruTV
“Wacky sound effects and people getting hit in the nuts!”
Sometimes, it’s the simple things we take for granted. Like how funny it is when some kid hits his dad in the groin with a whiffle ball bat. But with a little TV magic, you can easily throw in a loud “Boing!” type noise at the moment he makes contact and, voilà, you have comedy gold.
11. Cinemax
“You can watch porn here if you don’t feel like turning your computer on!”
Sure, Cinemax may have hit movies available, but the channel is infamous for one thing and one thing only.
10. History
“You probably won’t look this shit up so we are just going to say its true! Oh yeah, and aliens!”
You may notice one very important thing about the history channel the next time you decide to give it a look. It has a lot more aliens, loch ness monster, Jesus, and witchcraft than the history you were taught in school. Why? Simply put, history is boring and television channels need ratings to survive. So enjoy your ancient aliens, but take anything you see on this channel with a grain of salt.
9. MTV
“Music videos while you are asleep, pregnant teenagers while you are awake!”
Be realistic, you know this channel isn’t for music anymore.
8. VH1
“MTV for old people!”
You were born in the 60’s or 70’s? So I am willing to bet you don’t want to watch greasy folks from the Jersey Shore make out with each other all day. Luckily there exists a channel where you can watch rock and pop stars from the 80’s make out with each other instead!
7. Fox News
“White conservative opinions and yelling!”
Fox News is less of a platform for journalists to get the truth out there, and more of a platform for Rupert Murdoch to get his opinion out there. Who is Rupert Murdoch? Murdoch is the owner of the right wing “news” network and also the man who personally decides which stories the channel will cover and which side they will take. This channel is not news, it is propaganda. To learn more, click here.
