So the constant conflict I see myself facing is expecting everyone to have the same heart as I do; too often I give too much of myself to people who are unworthy of my overwhelming amounts of love and attention. In return, I expect the same back from them since, you know, you’re supposed to get what you give in a perfect world. More times than not, you will not receive exactly what you give out. For the needy people in the world, like me, this just doesn’t set well for us. Something I need to keep in mind is the fact that people need to put their happiness first and do what’s best for them, which doesn’t always mean that I will receive what I gave them in return since they’re too busy doing well for themselves first. It’s not being selfish, it’s living your best life.
I know all of this, yet I still struggle with feeling under-appreciated and sensitive when it comes to my relationships I have with people. I’m in the process of becoming enough for myself- not needing constant confirmation from the people who love me that they care about me since I already know they do. The struggle with being independent but needy at the same poses for conflicting opinions and feelings that become hard to sort through, but I’m trying. And I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this. We just have to keep in mind that we’re enough- enough for ourselves, enough for our friends, and enough for the people who love us. Always. Stop second guessing and looking for people to confirm what you already know. I have to remind myself over and over what my mama taught me; I can do this life on my own. I don’t need to find happiness in others. I am enough all on my own.
