5. The gym is beyond full. A workout that would usually take about an hour takes five because of all the people who vowed to lose half their weight this year. Not too many things are more frustrating than waiting in line for a treadmill. On the plus side, drive thrus are generally pretty empty.
4. “Say goodbye” photos. They’re kind of like before and after photos except taken way before the after results even exist. Do you really think you’re going to change that much that you need to post a picture as a farewell?
3. Everyone begins to state their friends list. Bragging about how small your circle is and how many people have gotten cut off starts to trend. If you feel the need to announce this please leave me in 2015 with the rest of them.
2. Chain messages should have ended in 2007 but they somehow pop up every new year. I will not forward anything, I will not fill in the blanks, nor will I repost. Don’t tag me in anything that reads along the lines of “Like if you’re going into 2016 with _.”
1. New Year’s Resolutions also known as the biggest lies on Earth. Not only is it crazy that people have to wait an entire year to break bad habits (or at least attempt to), they’re almost never successful. Everything is to the extreme like quitting smoking suddenly or eating only lettuce and celery for 90 days to lose weight. It’s the same competitive ridiculousness every year.
