“Babe, I’m not drunk.”
What it means: “I’m drunk.”
“The rules are kind of complicated.”
What it means: “Please, God, don’t make me explain football to you.”
“My mom loves you.”
What it means: “That may or may not be true, but since you two only see each other on major holidays, I think I can probably get away with it.”
“No, I was just thinking to myself how trashy that outfit looks.”
What it means: “I got caught staring at another woman, and now I have to insult her to keep you from getting mad.”
