5. The term “breaking the seal” applies to peeing after drinking, not to wrestling arctic marine mammals.
4. Although breaking a beer bottle on a table may look cool in the movies, it also looks cool in real life.
3. The only hallucination absinthe causes is that you didn’t waste a bunch of money on the drink.
2. A quick tip to tell if you’re drunk is if you start trying to use quick tips to tell if you’re drunk.
1. The best cure for a hangover is greasy food, water, and a lifestyle that satisfies you without the mind numbing effects drugs.
