4. The Grape Vine: This is your high school friend that kept you up to date—who slept with who, who threw up in Tyler’s toilet at the party last weekend, who was unofficial but kind of official but still unofficial. She was almost always whispering, keeping her ears perked up for new information on people’s lives. You always knew to keep your distance, even though the two of you were friends, in fear that you would be the face of the next school-wide rumor. Now that you’re in college, she probably still subtweets the kids that still go to your high school and texts you about how ugly that one girl’s homecoming dress was this year. This is the friend that will always be stuck in high school, bitter about already having lived out her glory days. College is a time to move on, and create a new life for yourself. Do yourself a favor, and don’t favorite her tweets anymore.
