The ex-boyfriend stage
At some point in the night something will go wrong with the male population which always leads to her texting her ex-boyfriend because he “understands and treated her so much better than all the other guys here do.” You’ll try to reason with her and tell her to wait until the morning but as long as that phone is in her hands, a text will be sent. Don’t get me wrong though, he totally enjoys deciphering her “heyu whatsatsh up i miss youp” text and wants to rekindle their forgotten love for each other at 3 A.M just as much as her drunk self wants to.
The sloppy stage
She’s the drunkest, conscious person in the vicinity. She probably keeps hugging you with her sweaty body and touching your face reminding you why you never want to go out again. She just “wants to dance” and everyone is probably “being so boring.” She is stumbling in every direction besides the one in which she is trying to head to, swaying back and forth while trying to stand in place and this is most likely when she will take her shoes off.
