5.) The Flash
Minute 1: Shows up.
Minute 2: Drunk already.
Minute 3: Leaves.
4.) Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman is a strong independent Amazonian who don’t need no man, and she is quick to let you know about it to. The problem? She is gorgeous and her outfit leaves little to the imagination. This of course means every guy at your party will hit on her until she kicks their ass. Parties often end in at least one fight, but if you invite Wonder Woman there are likely to be several people in the ER before the night is over. On the bright side, her lasso of truth will likely make for some great pranks.
3.) Captain America
Okay, I know I said Batman was a buzzkill, but he has nothing on Captain America. I hope you are ready to hear about how the United States is the greatest country on Earth, every five minutes, all night long. The more drunk this guy becomes, the greater the red, white, and blue sound from his perspective. You better fucking pray you remembered to vote this year or you will never hear the end of it…ya commie. What is worse, he is way out of touch. Don’t you dare play any electronic music around the guy, it will only frighten him. Rap music is likely to give him a heart attack due to excessive cursing. Good ol’ fashion rag time music, that is where its at.
2.) Superman
Sort of like a guy who knows too many magic tricks, Superman is a bit of a show off at parties. “Hey do you want me to light that cigarette for you? Okay, let me just use my laser vision!” Last time he went to a party, he threw a ping pong ball through a wall on an accident and it wasn’t pretty. If there is one good thing about having Superman around at a party it is his frost breath. You will never have to worry about drinking a warm beer again, although accidental beer freezing may occasionally occur.
1.) Spiderman
Spiderman might be the only hero on the list that would actually be totally awesome at a party. I mean, he is young and charismatic, what more could you ask for. This guy will quickly become the life of the party, and if the place gets too full, he can stand on the wall or the ceiling. What is even better is that he never comes to the party without Mary Jane…if you didn’t just die laughing at that glorious double entendre then you are dead inside.
