5 Things College Girls Do Regularly To Help Out Their Friends

Written By: Laura

I thought I’d give a brief summary of some things that college girls should ALWAYS do for each other. Always. I’m not really a fan of hard-and-fast rules, but this time I think I’ll make an exception. If you are at ALL considered about your fellow collegiettes, or about just being a good person in general, you’ll do the following.

1. Come to the rescue against creepy guys

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that all guys that walks into a bar are scum and that you should never talk to any of them and they’re all creeps, but I AM going to sit here and tell you that some of them are scum. And if you see a scumbag boy CLEARLY taking advantage of a too-drunk girl, for God’s sake, do something. If she’s your friend than you totally have fair game. If you don’t know her, at the very least pull her aside or something and make her she’s okay. You’re a girl. In 99% of cases, it’s pretty clear whether both parties are interested, or if one is just being creepy.

And if a girl is mouthing, “Help me,” or something like that, then you’re actually a terrible person if you don’t. So. Yeah.

Along that vein…..

2. Make sure that somebody who got way too drunk is safe

Last night, me and my friend were on the late-night bus after some quality time at Slices, and all of a sudden next to us plopped down a girl who is clearly completely blacked out–pale, slumping over, speaking jibberish. There was a girl across the aisle of the bus holding a trash can and holding her hand, so we assumed that they were friends. Five minutes down the ride, I mouthed to the friend, “Is she okay,” and she mouthed back, “I don’t know her.” Ummm yeah. That’s a game-changer right there. We ended up going through this girl’s phone, finding the last few girls she had texted, calling them, finding out that this girl didn’t even go to Maryland (she and her friends all go to Georgetown, not sure what they were doing in College Park), calling her friends back, explaining to her friends that we couldn’t take her back to the bar she had come from, debating if she was okay to travel, debating if we had to take her to the hospital, deciding she was okay, literally carrying her off the bus (that was my friend, not me), trying to meet her friends when her friends had no idea where anything in CP was, and me trying to keep her warm/from falling off of a bus bench while my friend Kyle went down to attempt to find them. Her friends finally caught up with us (they had lost her, so they were freaking out the whole time) and they were fine and she got home safe. As it turns out, it was this girl’s birthday and so she had gotten wayyyy too drunk, and the bouncers at this particular bar literally kicked her out for being too drunk and left her, by herself, on the curb of a crowded intersection at 1:30 in the morning (which is when the first girl found her and took her on the bus).

So yes, it was a bit of an ordeal. But the whole ride home, when people found out we didn’t know her, they were all, “Wow you guys are such good people,” which really kind of made me stop and think. If we’re exceptionally good people for making sure a drunk girl gets home safe, that means that the normal person would just let a clearly blackout girl fend for herself on the rapiest streets of College Park. Um, please tell me that’s not true. If you see a really, really drunk girl that’s by herself–even a drunk guy, although drunk girls are usually more vulnerable, sadly–for the love of all that is holy, DO SOMETHING. We’ve all had at least one night we weren’t proud of. Today it’s her, tomorrow it could be you. It honestly makes me shudder thinking about what could’ve happened if that first girl hadn’t found her.

Seriously. HELP OUT YOUR DRUNK SISTERS.

3. Make it known that a stall is out of toilet paper.

…..I’m not saying that I’m still mad at that one bitch from my Econ 101 class in freshman year, but I am saying that I didn’t appreciate sitting in a toilet stall for twenty-five minutes because it was during classtime and nobody else came in the bathroom until after class was over. Twenty. Five. Minutes. Karma’s a bitch, Molly.

4. Tell somebody about their wardrobe malfunction (with tact, of course)

Girl’s clothing is complicated as hell. Between buttons, zippers, hemlines, stitching, skirts, that whole annoying “sheer” craze, shoes, and everything else that comes with trying to look like a presentable woman in society, there are a LOT of opportunities to accidentally show things that you don’t want to show. Way way WAY too many yoga pants out there these days are see-through (cue the remarks from smart-ass guys). Dresses and skirts now come as if designed to roll up the second you take more than three consecutive steps. It’s a jungle out there.

The moral of the story? If a fellow girl is trekking through the jungle alongside you and happens to take a wrong turn and, unbenownst to her, have a snake land on the back of her shirt, okay this analogy is turning to crap, but TELL SOMEBODY IF THEY’RE ACCIDENTALLY PUTTING ON A PEEP SHOW. They’ll probably be embarrassed in the moment, but people almost universally would much rather have one moment of embarrassment and fix it than realize that they’ve unknowingly been strutting around with the wardrobe coverage of a drugged-up Miley Cyrus for the past four hours.

Of course, tact is key. I found this out the hard way at Gettysburg, when I was wearing a dress at the dining hall and going along, doing my thing, when a girl came up to me and loudly said, “Oh, wait, your dress is really tucked up on this one side. Hold on I can fix it…wait ok it’s getting caught in the zipper….hold on I think I got it….wait ok put your tray down and put your arms up..okay……okay….one more second…OKAY GOOD YOUR UNDERWEAR WAS KIND OF SHOWING.” Did I mention that this was in front of the entire Gettysburg lacrosse team? Because it was in front of the entire Gettysburg lacrosse team.

5. If somebody needs a tampon, and you have a tampon, give her the tampon.

Do I really need to spell this one out? That’s what I thought.

Well that’s all I got. Enjoy your weekend, and remember to follow these tips, because you’ll be an asshole if you don’t!

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